The Meaning of Kroosmas
by The-Fabulous-Person
Summary: Roxanne Ritchie finds out that, not only does Megamind not like winter, he's never celebrated Christmas! She and Minion have one week to teach this blue Grinch all there is to know about Roxanne's favorite holiday.
1. Convince Him

Roxanne Ritchi always loved this time of year. Certainly it was colder, and filled her life with trivial inconveniences like having to defrost her car or put chains on her tires to keep from sliding on the ice, but it was worth it when the first few bits of fluff began to fall. She loved the way the powder clung to everything it touched, especially the trees. She loved the cooler temperature, perfect for curling up in her apartment with a blanket and some of that foreign cocoa from the specialty shop just around the corner from her office. It meant a cocoon of blankets wrapped around her, covering stories of kids taking advantage of canceled school, and ice skating with friends. Others could moan and groan about the freezing temperatures and the ice, but Roxanne Ritchi could only smile at the slowly growing heaps of white.

Her slight giddiness as she drove through the first real snowfall of the year, though, had something to do less with white, and more with the color blue.

It would be her first winter with her alien boyfriend, the former supervillain and new hero of Metro City.

Megamind.

White Christmas filled her car as she drove through the streets until she reached an almost totally unpopulated part of the city. The fake observatory gleamed at her from beneath its own thick layer of snow, which only served to brighten her smile.

Opting to walk in, instead of driving (the BraingBots still seemed confused by her constant, willing, presence in the lair) she parked the car up close to the hidden entrance. She exited carefully, her feet sliding a little on the thin, crackly sheet of ice beneath her feet as she made her way to the wall and lifted her hand-

Only to have it fall against a regular, solid, brick wall.

Confused, she balled her hand into a fist and hesitantly rapped her knuckles against the brick. Certainly if someone was trying to 'breach' the lair, an alarm or something would go off? They would at least know she was there. "Megamind? Minion?" She called, feeling a little dumb for doing so. Her eyes drifted towards the blinking lens of the camera hidden above the entrance and she stood on the tips of her toes to wave at it. "Helloooo? What's wrong with the door?"

The sound of static and a mechanical whir reached her ears just before the sound of heavy footfalls did.

"Sorry, Miss Ritchie." Minion's apologetic voice came as the hologram wavered and disappeared. "The boss didn't want the snow and cold to get in and freeze everything over." He gestured her inside and the hologram wavered back to life. "He likes to keep things cool, but there's a limit."

Roxanne smirked and nodded in understanding, her eyes darting up as a dozen or so BrainBots swarmed them, making their various barking, chomping sounds. She smiled and pulled the proffered wrench from one set of jaws before tossing it as hard as she could down the hall. "I love the cold. In winter at least." She turned to smile at the space fish as he led her deeper into the former evil lair. "Are you two ready for Christmas?"

Minion's expression turned from warm and excited to sheepish as he hurriedly turned away in his bowl, one hand reaching up to rub the back of his bowl like a human would scratch the back of their necks. "Well uh… Miss Ritchie. See… the thing about that is-"

* * *

"How can you not like winter?" Roxanne demanded incredulously once more. "And for that matter, _**how **_can you not like _Christmas?"_

Megamind sighed, his shoulders slumping just a bit as he turned on the spinning stool to regard her with tired eyes. "It's quite simple really. Winter is cold, and icy. Blizzards, frozen machinery. Simple. And, I never had a 'real' Kroosmas growing up in prison. There were gingerbread cookies with our meals, but the inmates had their own families to exchange holiday… things with. When I was in shoul, the other children exchanged presents, but I understandably never received one and I was rarely included in their Christmas activities. And it's always just been Minion and I. So it's not so much that I don't care for the holiday, as it is Minion and I have just never before celebrated it, or ever had a _reason _to celebrate it and I see no reason to break tradition." He turned back to whatever it was that he was slaving over this time (something big if the sheer size of the blue prints and the amount of unintelligible engineering script had anything to say about it). "Besides, Kroosmas is a human holiday." He added under his breath.

Roxanne strode forward and grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to turn around and look at her. "Christmas. And hey, it's an _Earth _holiday. You live on _Earth_, do you not?"

Megamind smirked up at her. "Ah, but not everyone on Ee-arth celebrates it, do they my dear?"

_Touché. _"It's Earth, and point taken, but…" She paused, thinking furiously of a way she could convince him to celebrate with- Her eyes suddenly brightened before taking on a devious sort of gleam as she leaned a little closer. "I celebrate it. Don't you want to spend the holidays with me?" The devious smirk turned into a full on puppy-dog-pout, complete with batting eye lashes as he leaned away, blushing slightly.

"Er…"

"Egg nog, Christmas movies, tree hunting." She leaned all the closer. "Those things just aren't as fun without someone to enjoy them with." She watched his eyes flash and his mouth open to fire back but she already knew what he was going to say. She lifted one hand to cover his mouth. "Someone _special_, space boy."

Megamind smirked beneath her hand, pursing his lips to press a quick kiss to her palm before she removed it. "Why not celebrate with you friends? Your family? I'm sure they would be infinitely better company for this particular event. _They _know how to celebrate it."

"That's not the point Megamind." She told him, as though talking to a child who had just asked why the sky was blue. "Besides, Minion wants to celebrate. I asked him and he said he'd love to!"

Megamind's eyes narrowed and she knew if Minion had been in the room, Megamind would've demanded what side he was on. "So celebrate with Minion."

"What about you?"

He turned his face away, adopting a tragically heroic expression. "Ah, the life of a hero takes no holiday, Miss Ritchie. You should know that by now."

Roxanne sighed, having to work very hard to resist the urge to smirk. "Alright Blue," She said, resorting to her pet name for him, her tone serious as she leaned in even closer until Megamind was held up only by the table at his back. She reached around him, planting her hands on either side of his slim body as she stared the suddenly nervous alien straight in the eye. "What do I have to do to convince you to spend the holidays with me?"

Megamind floundered slightly under her intense gaze. "That depends."

"On what?"

"I'm not sure. It just sounded like an appropriate and witty response to your question."

Roxanne let out a frustrated groan and rolled her eyes. "You're so difficult sometimes!"

Megamind smirked up at her in a self-satisfied sort of way. His smile fell though as he examined her determined face. "Would it really mean that much to you if I participated in this Kroosmas with you?"

Roxanne's expression softened and she nodded. "It would mean a lot to me, Blue. And I know you'd enjoy it."

Megamind sighed dramatically as his arms wrapped up and around her waist. "Alright then. You win my dear." He told her. "I shall participate in these 'Happy Who-lidays' with you." He yanked her down into his lap, smirking when she squealed in surprise and adjusted his arms into a more secure position around her back. "Now," He started. "Tell me exactly what this Kroos-… _Christ_mas entails."

* * *

**There it is. Now begins Megamind's lessons in the spirit of Christmas.**

**Hope you guys enjoyed and will stick around for his journey.**

**First up is the lesson of Tree Hunting.**


	2. Lesson 1: Tree Hunting

**Lesson 1: The Perfect Tree**

_How_, he wondered, _was I roped into this nonsense?_

He was seated in the backseat, much to his confusion, while Minion and Roxanne 'ooh'd and 'aah'd at the trees they could see lining the farm. Much like Roxanne had claimed, Minion had been more than eager to participate in the list of holiday traditions Roxanne had listed off. They'd piled into the invisible car early that morning in order to make the _four hour long _trip to Roxanne's favorite childhood tree farm.

He hadn't understood why they couldn't just purchase a tree from those lads in the funny outfits, or from the gardening department of the Metro City Superstore.

"Because, Megamind." She'd sighed. "That's just not in the spirit of Christmas. Besides," She'd continued. "Those trees are all wrapped up in plastic; you can't see what they'll look like when you set them up." She wrapped a colorful plaid scarf around his long neck and smiled up at him. "Trudging through the dirt, finding the perfect tree, cutting it down with your own hands, freezing and getting all covered in sap when you carry it back to the car! It's one of the best parts of Christmas!"

"Come on, Boss!" Minion had exclaimed from the driver's seat, a scarf around his sphere and a set of earmuffs covering the transmitters on the side of the glass. "It's going to be a lot of fun!"

So, slightly exasperated and skeptical of the whole charade, he'd climbed into the back and was now resting against the front seat with his arms folded under his chin. "Is… this the farm?" He asked curiously.

Roxanne nodded, staring dreamily out the window. "Mm-hm. Just like I remember it. Mmm…" She pressed the button on the door handle and the glass lowered a pit. "Smell that evergreen glory." Megamind watched with an amused smile as a few snowflakes were drafted into the car to land in her hair.

Minion shifted in his seat slight, frowning up the road as he looked for some place to park. "Where do I turn off, Miss Ritchie?"

Megamind turned his head slightly to watch out the side windows as the trees grew steadily smaller and sparser. There was a large barn-like log structure about half a mile away with a thin column of smoke curling up from its chimney. He could see a few people, mostly families bundled up tightly against the cold with their young ones waddling along, making their way slowly through the trees, touching branches, getting down on their hands and knees to look at something. These actions made no sense to him but he assumed Roxanne would know.

"Okay, first thing first guys-" Roxanne said once she'd pointed Minion in the direction of the 'parking lot'. "We have to figure out what type of tree we're going to get."

The car was silent for a long moment as Minion and Megamind turned to stare at one another before turning back to Roxanne.

"I thought we were getting a Christmas tree?" Megamind said slowly, propping one elbow up on the leather and dropping his chin into his upturned hand.

Roxanne stared disbelievingly at her boyfriend before turning the look on Minion. The space fish looked back at her with the same confusion as his master. Taking a deep breath, Roxanne sighed and held her hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay. That one was my fault. Let's see…" she pursed her lips momentarily. "What… species should our Christmas tree be?"

Megamind and Minion just blinked.

"There's more than one type?" Minion questioned.

"Seriously?" She exclaimed as Minion turned into the 'parking lot' (it was just a stretch of gravel in front of the barn). "You guys are scientists!"

Megamind frowned slightly. "Mad scientists, my dear. Inventors. Not horticulturalists."

Roxanne threw her arms up in defeat and pulled herself from the car. "Good god you guys are hopeless!" She said, loud enough to bring the attention of those close to the barn. When they spotted the giant blue head and the giant robot-gorilla, a few of them let out very audible gasps and edge around the building or dashed inside. Only a couple of them didn't retreat, but still eyed the former supervillains wearily.

Megamind shrugged, pulling the winter jacket Roxanne had picked out for him tighter around his body.

Too. Freaking. Cold.

He turned slowly on the spot, taking his surroundings in with a nervous expression. "You know…" He murmured as Roxanne walked up close to him. She glanced up at her boyfriend, brows knit together in concern at his low voice and worried demeanor. "I've never really been outside of a big city. Or at least past a point where I couldn't see one." He told her.

Roxanne smiled reassuringly and removed his gloved hand from under his armpit to wrap her own mittened one around it. "Don't worry Blue. The wolves don't come this close to civilization."

He scoffed as she pulled him towards the cabin, Minion trailing along to Megamind's left. "What civilizat- wait." His green eyes grew wide and frantic as his head snapped around to stare at her. "Wolves?"

"Oh yeah." She said, very nonchalantly. "Wolves. Moutain lions, bears… tigers." She couldn't help herself. She didn't expect him to react so dramatically, and it took two whole minutes of apologizing and reassurance by her and Minion to calm him down and get him to stop trying to force them back into the car as the people who had finished tree hunting watched.

Now he was trailing along with a slight blush and a glare, his hand limp in hers.

Roxanne chuckled. "Oh come on Blue, lighten up. It was a joke."

He grumbled out something along the lines of 'not funny' as they tromped up the stairs into the cabin to borrow a bow saw. Roxanne thanked the woman that brought the saw to them before handing the tool to Minion and grabbing Megamind's hand once more. The followed her back out and down the steps, and out into the trees.

The ones closest to the barn were very small, only saplings. Some of them were barely even a foot high. There was an occasional fully-grown one, standing alone, and Megamind cast these a bewildered look. He glanced ahead, to where the trees slowly began to get taller and taller before looking back at the lone ones up front. "Why are those ones up here with the tiny trees?" He asked.

Roxanne paused, blinked, and finally saw what he was talking about. "Oh… I'm not sure." She frowned thoughtfully for a moment. "It probably means something's wrong with them, or their reserved for something."

"Like what?" Minion asked.

"Well sometimes they let certain trees grow to a certain height, waiting a few years before cutting them down. Maybe they're growing those ones for places like city hall, or Time Square in New York. You never know. Or, maybe there were nests for baby squirrels or birds in the branches." She shrugged. "Or they might just not be good trees. The trunks could be crooked, or the tree could be sickly." She suddenly realized what she said and turned quickly to see that yes, indeed, she'd touched on of the alien's sensitive nerves. He was staring at the tree with an almost sad expression, and Roxanne released his hand to instead loop her arm through his, pulling him close. "Er, but I doubt that."

Megamind stared dryly down at her. "Oh?"

Roxanne nodded. "Those ones they'll cut down to… well you know. Send to the saw mill. Make things out of them so they don't go to waste. Or they'll try to like… nurse them and train them into a good growth pattern." She tried hopefully.

Megamind chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay. So what are we looking for in a tree then?"

Roxanne mentally sighed in relief and looped her arm through Minion's robotic one as well, glad for the three layers she was wearing as she touched the metal. "Well… I was thinking a Noble for our first Christmas. They're good, sturdy trees with plenty of room for ornaments on the branches, easy to take care of and last for a long time."

Minion lifted his free hand to scratch his sphere thoughfully. "What does a Noble tree look like Miss Ritchie?"

"Um…" She bit her lip as she bounced on the tips of her toes to peer through the rows until she spotted a section a few hundred feet ahead of good-sized Nobles. "See those silvery ones way back there? No, not those ones. Er… see that lady in the red coat? She's standing by a Noble. Aww…" She pursed her lips, pouting. "That's a really nice one too… oh well, we'll find a better one."

Megamind's brows knit together as she sped up, tugging the aliens behind her. "Why so far back, Roxanne? Wouldn't it be easier to get one closer to the barn?"

Roxanne let out another exasperated sigh and released them both to bound forward, careful of the tiny saplings and the deep ruts made by the cultivation of the dirt. "Oh Megamind, if we wanted easy we'd be lame and get a fake one from the store, or buy one from the boy scouts. We came all this way to _hunt _for a _great _tree. That requires a little hard work, some good walking boots, and getting your hands dirty!"

Minion chuckled, which earned a slight glare from his master. "Sorry sir." He said, his hairy shoulders bobbing up in an apologetic shrug. "It's hard not to share her enthusiasm. Think of it like… um…" The fish frowned and lifted a hand to the front of his bowl like someone would when scratching their chin. "Like… like working on a new invention!" Minion snapped and pointed delightedly at Megamind. "Yeah, like an invention that you want to get just right sir!"

Megamind mulled that over as he and the fish carefully followed after Roxanne, now at more than a dozen rows ahead of them. "I suppose. Guh!" His hands flew up to his temples and he shook his head just a bit. "All this Kroosmas stuff is confusing!"

"Christmas sir."

"Tomato potato."

"Over here!"

Megamind and Minion looked up to see Roxanne reach the edge of the Noble section and slowly circle one tree. The two hurried forward as she leaned in to sniff the tree, but before they reached her she shook her head and turned away, hands on her hips. "No… almost but no." Megamind heard her mumble.

They'd almost reached her when she strode off again, scanning the trees furiously for her next target. She stopped at each, bending the needles, pushing the branches apart to examine the inner tree, sniffing the needles…

Megamind couldn't help the smirk slowly growing on his face as she bobbed along.

But she continued to reject every tree she saw, her expression growing slightly frantic as she turned this way and that until Megamind stopped her and gripped her shoulders. Minion was on the other side of the section, trying his own hand at Tree Hunting with the tips Miss Ritchie had given him.

"Roxanne, we've been searching for nearly an hour!" He told her. The tip of her nose was red from the cold and there was snow flecked through her hair. He was sure if he hadn't been wearing the hand-knit hat she'd made him for this occasion, he would've been freezing even worse than he already was. He couldn't imagine she was much better off. "It's cold, it's getting late. What exactly are you looking for?" He asked her incredulously.

Roxanne sighed, trying to keep her teeth from chattering as she slyly shoved her hands into his coat pockets for a bit of extra warmth, taking advantage of his own being on her. "I just want out first tree to be perfect, Blue." She told him.

Megamind smiled down at her and pulled the reporter close, his eyes briefly scanning the area.

Her criteria had been laid out bare for him and Minion:

-Must be around seven feet tall and not too wide, to ensure maximum decoration space while still being able to fit in her apartment.

-Must 'smell like Christmas' (that one he'd have to ask her about later).

-Must be the silvery-green ("But the right kind of silver-green! Not blue-silver-green!" whatever the heck that meant).

-There was an "uncountable, visual maximum for brown needles" (She hadn't specified what this meant, only that they would understand if they saw it).

-The needles had to stay on during the 'hand test' (…?).

-It had to be full and lush.

-The 'butt' of the trunk had to be long and straight, and a maximum of five inches in diameter.

He grimaced. Okay… maybe not… totally clear.

Nonetheless he scanned the trees as Roxanne shivered miserably in his arms, also peering through the now dying sunlight. What if they didn't find one-?

"There." Megamind's arm suddenly lifted into her vision, pointing directly ahead of them. "Minion!" He called.

She could hear Minion's hurried footfalls as he tromped back across the snow-covered ground to his master as Megamind towed her down the line to one tree jut over seven feet tall. It stood partially alone, many of its neighbors having already been cut down.

"What about this one?" He asked her.

Roxanne frowned, her head cocked to the side. It was just over seven feet tall. It was the right kind of color: the silvery green of Noble's without any of the blue that signaled wilt. There were few, if any at all brown on the outer branches. Just a few inside and close to the trunk. The needles snapped easily, a good sign of their health. And when Roxanne pulled her hand along one of the branches, only a few needles came loose against her mittens. The tree smelt like the Christmas mornings of her childhood: warm and earthy and fresh, sitting around the fire and sipping hot cocoa as her father read her and her siblings The Night Before Christmas. The branches were all really well spaced, and there were no super-sparse parts that she could see.

Just one last thing to check.

She dropped to her hands and knees on the frozen ground, lifting the lower branches up so she could examine the base. It stood straight and strong, with a good eight inches of space between the lowest branches and the line she could already see she was going to cut at. It was about four and a half, maybe five inches wide she guessed when she wrapped her hand around it to measure.

Her face lit up as she hurriedly scrambled out from under the tree and bounced a few times, her hands clasped together. "Oh it's perfect! How did this one not get picked?" She exclaimed. "It's the perfect tree!" She threw her arms around Megamind, startling the alien, still unused as he was to affection. He quickly shook himself out of the shock and wrapped his arms around her.

"Wow." He chuckled. "First try. Guess I have a knack for this Kroo-… C_hriz_mas thing after all."

Roxanne quirked a brow up at him, amused by his _almost _correct pronunciation and his smug smile. "Yeah yeah yeah. Keep gloating space boy." She turned to Minion. "Alright, you hold up the tree so it doesn't fall on our heads and we'll cut."

Minion handed her the saw and carefully maneuvered his hands through the branches to grip the trunk.

Roxanne and Megamind dropped to the frozen ground again, Megamind on one knee and Roxanne on both, bent over as she leaned under the tree again to hold the saw out for Megamind to take his half. Once he'd gripped his side of the handle, they set to work, slowly cutting through the sturdy trunk. They got about hallway through before stopping to take a breath while Roxanne and Minion switched place. She stretched her arm through the lower branches, gripping the trunk one-handed as Minion (With his obviously much greater strength and stamina) made quick work of what was left.

The tree slid from its base, and Megamind had to scramble to his feet to help Roxanne keep it from falling over (as it would've taken his girlfriend with it. Rotten child of nature). Once everyone was righted again, Minion took the trunk while Megamind took the front. Roxanne jogged after them as they lugged it back across the frozen ground as the sun fell towards the horizon, the bow saw clutched carefully in her hands as she directed them over deep ruts and patches of ice. After about five minutes of this strange parade, they finally breached the tree line and carefully stepped around the seedlings.

One of the farm owners' sons hurried out of the cabin to fire up the tree binder and waved them over. He flashed the aliens a quick, curious sort of look before he helped them lift the tree onto the belt.

Megamind watched from the distance the young man specified, fascinated by such a simple, yet effective machine. It was a long conveyor belt-like apparatus with a pulley at one end and a large circular attachment at the other. The man pulled a roped from the pulley and tied it around the trunk of the tree, then pulled a thin plastic line from inside the circular attachment. This he tied around the trunk as well, just above the rope. He then lifted the tree and hit a green button. The engine roared as he fed the tree slowly through the circular attachment as some mechanism inside spun around and around, wrapping the tree with the thin white plastic line until it reached the top branches. The man turned the machine off, cut the string and tied it off tight, undid the pulley rope and pulled the tree off the belt.

He offered to help them carry it back to their car, but Minion assured him cheerfully that he had it handled.

The man watched with wide eyes as the space fish lifted it up and set it on his shoulders as though he was lifting a bag of sugar. They thanked and paid the man, declined the cocoa he said his mother was brewing for the guests inside, and made their way back to the car.

The frozen gravel crunched beneath their feet as Megamind held Roxanne against his side, glancing ahead at Minion as the fish tied the tree to the racks on top of the car that they had added the other day when Roxanne told them about their trip.

"See?" She asked, holding his hand with one of her own while the other slipped slyly into his coat pocket to steal the slight extra warmth again. "Wasn't that fun?"

Megamind chuckled, hugging her a little tighter as he pressed his lips to her red nose. "Surprisingly yes. I'm half-frozen and my feet are sore and tired, but I feel… energized." He told her. "Cheerful. We should go for outings outside of the city more often." He said with a smile.

Roxanne nodded eagerly. "Sounds like a plan." As they neared the car, her grin turned devious and she untangled herself from his embrace before hurrying towards the door. "Shotgun!" She declared.

* * *

**There, Megamind actually picked out their first Christmas tree, making it perfect for Roxanne.**

**Yay! First lesson down!**

**Like? Hate? Want to offer me radioactive nachos that will infuse me with fantabulous powers?**

**Review please~!**

**I have no life and no job. Your reviews are like legal crack to me.**

**(I don't do drugs, btw. Just seemed like a funny analogy…)**

**Anyway, next up is the lesson of Decoration.**


	3. Lesson 2: Shopping and Decorating

Roxanne had a few decorations in her storage unit, and a box of ornaments from her childhood. But, because she rarely celebrated Christmas except the occasional drunken X-Mas Eve outing with her friends, or the week-long trip to her family's house up north, she'd gotten rid of most of her Christmas stuff.

She still had the tree stand, and the skirt, and after the very hilarious task of getting the tree up in front of the window (it took two hours and by the time they were done. Roxanne's ribs were hurting something fierce from laughing so hard, Minion was trying to figure out how to dislodge the broken branch from his shoulder joint and clear the needles out of his tank, and Megamind was blushing a violent purple, still trying to get the needles out of his nose), they made a few adjustments to the side of the tree that was facing the majority of the apartment, and she showed them how to spread out the skirt and made them some eggnog (sans brandy of course).

They decided the best course of action for Minion would be to just pour some into the top of his bowl. It worked well enough, and both aliens thoroughly enjoyed the drink. Roxanne smirked over her own mug as the Minion pointed and laughed at his master's eggnog mustache… and beard… while Megamind glowered and rolled his eyes.

Megamind shook his head and dragged his arm across his upper lip. "So. Roxanne." He drawled, turning pointedly away from his still chuckling companion. "What is next on your list of Christmas tasks?"

Roxanne swiped her thumb over her own lip and sat up a little straighter on her side of the couch. "Well… let's see. We have to decorate the tree, and the apartment." She suggested.

Megamind frowned, but Minion, who had always enjoyed Christmas specials and was eager to try his hand in decorating, just lifted his mug and poured some more eggnog into his bowl. "Decorating?" Megamind asked. "Like the lights and baubles you put on the trees?"

Roxanne nodded. "And of course the stockings, the lights and decorations for the rest of the house. Oooh! We should get an advent calendar! I always loved those! My siblings and I would always take tur-"

Megamind blinked a few times. "What's an advent calendar?"

Roxanne grinned and shifted in her seat again. "Well, it's a cute little calendar that counts the days until Christmas. There are a lot of different kinds, but my father would always buy the little cardboard ones that had little paper doors that opened up and hid pieces of chocolate. Every day you open the little door that represents the day and you eat the little chocolate!"

Megamind just shook his head, smiling bemusedly at the reporter. "I see."

Roxanne nodded. "And I have a few decorations, but I don't have any lights. Or a Christmas topper, so we'll have to go shopping-"

Minion perked up at that, turning in his bowl to grin at Roxanne. "Shopping?" He asked delightedly.

Megamind, however, shifted uncomfortably in his seat and fiddled a bit with the handle of his mug. "Shopping. As in…" He grimaced. "Crowds. In enclosed spaces. Like the mall."

Roxanne rolled her eyes. "Oh you'll be fine, Mr. big-tough ex-supervillain."

* * *

Because they were going shopping in the morning, Roxanne let the boys crash on her couches. Megamind fell asleep in the armchair with his elbow on the arm rest and his cheek resting against his fist (it was still incredible to Roxanne that he was perfectly comfortable sleeping like this) while Minion took the couch.

In the morning, she woke them up around eight o' clock and after a quick breakfast of frozen waffles, scrambled eggs and coffee, they piled into the invisible car once more (why was Roxanne up front again?) and headed off to the Metro City Superstore.

Megamind let out a disgruntled sigh from his spot in the _backseat_ (seriously? _How_ did this keep happening?) and leaned against the back of Minion's seat to look at the side of Roxanne's head. "Alright, so what exactly are we getting?"

Roxanne pursed her lips thoughtfully and held up a closed fist. "Lights for the tree." She lifted one finger. "Lights for the windows." Another finger. "Candy Canes." Another. "A wreath." Another. "A tree topper." She lifted her thumb and closed her fist again. "And whatever happens to catch my eye and therefore be deemed a necessary addition."

Megamind rolled his eyes with a sarcastic smile as Minion maneuvered into the closest available parking spot. "That's all?"

Roxanne stuck her tongue out at him and pulled herself from the car. "Hey, we could move this party to your place. There are enough blinky lights there we wouldn't need-"

"Wait, party?" Megamind exclaimed, much louder than he intended as he scrambled out after her. He cast a quick, worried glance around at those going to and from their cars, pausing to look at him in his civilian clothes. Of course they would: it was probably just as ridiculous a sight as possible after all these years of leather, latex and spikes. "You didn't say anything about a party!" He hissed under his breath.

Minion gripped his master's shoulder, leaning down to whisper conspiratorially into Megamind's ear. "Sir, I think that's just an expression. There isn't really going to be a big party," He glanced sideways at Roxanne. "Right Miss Ritchie?"

"Right."

Minion shook his master's shoulder a bit. "So see? Nothing to worry about!"

Megamind let out a low sigh but continued to eye Roxanne distrustfully. "This isn't some ploy to get me to give an interview?" He asked.

Roxanne rolled her eyes. "No Blue, I swear."

Megamind visibly relaxed. "Alright then. Shall we do this shopping thing?"

Roxanne slipped her arms through both boys' elbows and towed them through the parking lot, easily ignoring the stares and whispers of onlookers. "Honestly," she said. "He can take on the likes of Metro Man and Tighten but the moment anyone mentions social interaction, he panics." She bumped his hip with hers. "Okay," She paused just inside of the sliding doors, biting her bottom lip as she looked around quickly before deciding to grab a cart first. "Let's get lights first."

She pushed the cart forward and jumped onto the bar between the front wheels, coasting down the wide aisle as Megamind and Minion trailed behind her.

Minion glanced around, his fins twitching a bit uncomfortably under the awed, slightly scared glances of those around them. "Maybe we should've come with disguises-" He whispered sideways to his master. When there was no response, Minion turned to make sure his master was still beside him. He was, but Megamind was staring almost vacantly ahead. Minion followed his master's gaze, only to be greeted by a view of Miss Ritchie leaning over the handlebars as she set something into the cart. Understanding, Minion elbowed his boss and sent the alien a sly smirk. "Sir."

Megamind blinked, his face flushing as he batted Minion's arm away. "Ooooh…. Shut up!"

"Hey, you guys coming or what?"

They hurried to her side as she reached the lights, hopping down and parking the cart close to the aisle to make room for anyone that might pass by. "Alright: Multi-colored, single-colored, white, gold, mini lights, strings, ropes, Santa baubles, snowman baubles, bells, musical, LED-"

Minion eagerly knelt to examine the pictures on the boxes while Megamind shifted from one foot to the other behind them. "What?" He asked, as though the very idea of so many different types was in some way insulting. "More than one kind? Do specific ones only go with a certain type of tree? Why are there so many choices?"

Roxanne laughed. "Not everyone likes the same kind, that's why. Ooooh! What about this kind?" She suddenly exclaimed, bending down slightly to press the tip of her pointer finger against the box, just beneath the description. "Multi-colored strand. One-hundred light, fifty feet long. Simple, but colorful." She turned to Megamind and Minion. "That work?" She asked.

Minion nodded eagerly, and after a quick, nervous glance between the two of them, Megamind held his hands up. "Hey, it sounds fine to me. You two know more of this than I do."

Roxanne rolled her eyes but nonetheless grabbed two boxes and set them into the cart. "Oh you're such a spoil sport Blue. There, one for the tree and one for the balcony door. Let's get some icicle lights to hang on the railing!" Her eyes lit up once more as she rolled the cart further down the aisle. After a brief discussion with Minion, debating over the different brands, lengths, and colors while Megamind stood by, uncomfortable with his lack of knowledge in this area, they picked a set of long-stranded white icicle lights and Roxanne hopped back onto the cart, leading them down the aisle. "Wreath time!" She declared.

They found a nice one with a dark-red painted piece of wood that said "Welcome" and was decorated with pinecones, mistletoe berries, and tiny painted snowflakes.

They picked up a few garlands, a bag of tinsel for the tree, and even a few more baubles and ornaments on their way to the tree toppers.

Megamind quirked a brow at the nearly empty aisle. There was a single, flimsy little canvas angel that Roxanne smiled delightedly at. She reached out to lift it off the shelf, but before she could, some snot-nosed little punk with a mop of curly blond hair snatched the angel away and ran down the aisle screaming "Mommy I got one!"

The trio frowned after the child as he tossed the angel into the cart before his mother hurried him off, as though frightened the ex-villain would dehydrate her son, or worse.

Megamind sighed and shook his head, crossing his arms against his chest. "We could always come back tomorrow Roxie." He suggested.

Roxanne grimaced. "I suppose… I was sort… hoping for one like that." When Minion and Megamind just stared blankly at her, she shrugged. "My sisters and I, sometimes my brother, would _make_ a topper every year. It was one of my favorite traditions."

Megamind exchanged a quick glance with Minion and reached out to grip the reporter's shoulder. "Well… you know. We could always come back at a different day and get one. Or I'm sure there's something at the lair we could make a topper out of."

Roxanne's eyes lit up. "That's a great idea! Perfect!" Placated, she grabbed the cart and rolled off again. "Okay, just the candy canes left!"

She picked out a few boxes of plain peppermint canes, and prompted them to choose a flavor.

This aisle was just as ridiculous as the lights! The whole aisle was filled with hundreds of different types of candy canes! Insanity! He floundered under her eager grin, desperate to impress her and worried he would in some way fail when his eyes landed on something bright and colorful. "Here, how about these!"

He shoved them into Roxanne's nose, and she examined the packaging for a moment before smiling and nodding approvingly. "Jelly Belly, always a good choice."

"I found mine Miss Ritchie!" Minion called in a sing-song voice, returning to the cart with a box full of brown-and-white candy canes. "They're coco-cola flavored apparently!"

* * *

This time all three of them squeezed up front, seeing as the back seat was overflowing with their purchases. Megamind sat on the door side with Roxanne between him and Minion. Because the tree still had to dry, they'd decided to wait until tomorrow to decorate. They were going to drop Roxanne and the decorations off, then go back to the lair.

Roxanne dozed off a bit against Megamind's chest during the short drive, something that made him grin and flush at all at the same time.

They pulled up close to the front of her apartment, greeted by the sight of four BrainBots hovering excitedly by the door.

The pudgy old Italian man was eyeing these mechanical terrors nervously, slowly sidling away from them every time one hovered too near. However, when Carlos spotted the invisible car, and the giant blue head attached to one of the bodies inside, he disappeared inside.

Megamind grimaced apologetically, but ignored the man for now, focusing instead on helping the reporter from the car. He glanced back at his BrainBots and jerked his head in the direction of the backseat door. "Could you do daddy a favor and take those up to Roxanne's balcony for us? Good boys. Careful now." The BrainBots snapped at one another as they scrambled to grab the bags first, eager to obey daddy's instructions. He waited until they flew off with most of the bags, leaving just the bag with candy canes in it behind.

Megamind reached in to grab this as Roxanne leaned inside the passenger door to smile at Minion. "Do you want to come up for some coffee or something before you guys leave?"

Minion smiled. "No, but thank you. The boss and I have lots of work to catch up on."

"Mmm-hmm." Megamind hummed absently as he shut the door. "I'll be back in a flash Minion."

"Sure thing boss."

Roxanne leaned in to kiss the side of Minion's tank before scrambling back out and shutting the door.

Alien and reporter entered the building hand-in-hand, careful not to look towards the desk where Carlos was now nervously chattering away at his co-workers before they entered the elevator.

Megamind let out a low sigh as the doors slid shut. "I feel almost bad now…" He mused aloud.

Roxanne frowned curiously up at him. "What do you mean?"

Megamind shrugged. "Well… I doubt Metro Man could've gone shopping with you. No matter where he went, people hounded him for attention. They all wanted his shiny smile on them. I think the only reason most people keep their distance from me is… well because I used to terrorize them every other week." He looked a little regretful as he said this, as though maybe he wished he'd never been evil. "I wonder if people will ever stop looking at me without thinking I'm going to turn them into a glowing blue cube…"

Roxanne smiled sympathetically up at her boyfriend and slipped her arm around his waist. "Cheer up Blue. You have to give them just as much a chance as they have to give you." She stood on the tips of her toes to peck his cheek as the elevator doors opened.

Megamind trailed after her as she jogged to her door, pulling her key chain from her belt and quickly unlocking it.

When Megamind caught sight of the tree, his nose began to itch with the embarresment of putting it up. He managed to ignore it though as she hurried over to the glass door and pulled it open. Bits of snow blew in as she picked up the bags and hurriedly carried them inside. Megamind set his down and went to help her drag the last few in.

"So… why do you decorate on Christmas?" He asked. "You've yet to tell me."

Roxanne shook her head, a bit like a dog to dislodge the fluffy white flakes as she peeled off her jacket. "It's… well, it's Christmas. That's what you do. You turn everything colorful and festive to show just how much Christmas spirit you have."

"So… it's like… a contest?" He asked, flopping onto her couch and steepling his fingers to watch her. He knew Minion was waiting, but this was an important part of Christmas. If he was to please Roxanne and celebrate correctly, he needed to know the _hows _and _whys_.

Roxanne grimaced thoughtfully. "Well… sort of. I mean, they have turned it into a contest, giving out awards for the best decorations, but that's not really in the spirit of the holiday."

Megamind nodded almost absently, though he still wasn't quite grasping this concept of Holiday Cheer. This Christmas Spirit. But, Roxanne seemed so eager to teach him, to have him celebrate with her, to feel the same joy she felt at this time of year, and he only wanted to make her happy.

So until he figured this 'Spirit' nonsense out, he would pretend he understood to the best of his ability.

He smiled widely and jumped from the couch, striding forward to kiss her on the cheek. "Well, I certainly understand better now. However, dear Minion is waiting out in the cold for me, and we have fallen a bit behind schedule. So until tomorrow my dear."

Roxanne watched, slightly stunned as the alien fled the room.

* * *

**Bah, crappy ending but ah well.**

**There we go. The actual decorating will take place in the next chapter, along with the lesson of Mistletoe, as suggested by hitomi1227.**


	4. Lessons 2&3: Decorating and Mistletoe

**Lesson 4: Sticky Buns, Laundry, and Mistletoe.**

Megamind crossed one arm against his chest, resting the elbow of the other on top while he drummed his fingers against his chin in a thoughtful manner.

Minion glanced sideways at his master, wondering what was going on in that giant brain. "Are you alright sir?"

Megamind blinked, and looked around at his fishy companion. "Me? Yes, of course. I'm perfectly fine. Just thinking."

"About?" Minion slowly prompted.

"This… this _who_-liday." Megamind grumbled. "I've still yet to figure out why it's so important to Roxanne or why she's so adamant we celebrate with her."

Minion shrugged. "Well… I'm sure you'll figure it out soon enough sir." He said gently.

Megamind groaned and tossed his hands dramatically into the air. "But I'm so used to _always _knowing what's going on!" He collapsed against the seat and rubbed his temples with the tips of his fingers. "Trying to figure out this blasted Kroosmas Cheer is giving me a headache…"

"Chris-"

"Gah!" Megamind batted a hand at his companion. "Not now Minion!" He straightened and took a deep breath. "I just need a… a what is it? A break from all this. Just need to do something constructive."

* * *

That night, something just wouldn't function correctly in Megamind's thought process. He kept getting sidetracked, worse than he normally did. He'd be working furiously on one project one moment, then next thing he knew, he was staring off into space.

Two words: Kroos. Mas.

Megamind groaned and threw his wrench into the air, smirking half-heartedly when he heard a delighted robotic barking sound. "Minion!" He called. When there was no answer, Megamind sighed and threw his arms into the air. "Never around when I- MINION!" He yelled. "MINION, I CAN'T CONCENTRATE!"

The fish rolled his eyes as his master's loud, carrying voice reached him all the way on the other side of the lair where he was working on the Invisible Car's engine. "I'm over here sir!"

There was a series of loud crashes (his master was so fantastically clumsy) and a disgruntled yell of pain and annoyance before his master appeared around the monitor screens. "Minion, I cannot, for the life of me, concentrate." He declared.

Minion leaned against the hood, one non-existent brow quirked up in amusement. "And why is that sir?"

"I have no idea! That's why I'm down here!"

Minion grimaced. "Well… Perhaps you're tired."

"No, that can't be it." Minion rolled his eyes as Megamind turned away, one hand rubbing his chin while the other rested against his hip.

He tried spending time in his 'Thinking Area', playing with the strings, rearranging the pictures. It did help his to clear his mind some, organizing his thoughts into a workable order. But it only helped for so long before that, too, lost his interest and he found himself staring vacantly at the wall as a BrainBot continuously bumped into him, in an attempt to gain his attentions. He tried working on his HoverCycle, the BrainBots, the battle suit…

Nothing could hold his interest for more than fifteen minutes.

So it was after tinkering with BrainBot 408Gi8, or LockJaw, for about (gasp, what a surprise!) twenty minutes, he was slumped in the high-backed rolling chair in the fake observatory. An old sketch pad was stretched out on his knee.

The side of his face was cupped in one hand as he doodled with the other.

Why couldn't he concentrate? Why did he feel so restless? _Why _was he so _bo-_

Megamind's hand froze and his eyes grew wide as he looked at what he'd draw so far.

His face cracked into a positively massive grin as he launched himself from his chair and skid to a halt on the lift. "Minion! Minion!" He bent over, peering through the space between the floor and the lift as it slowly descended. "Minion, I know what's wrong!"

* * *

Roxanne woke up bright and early the next day, but she lay in her bed for a while after her eyes had opened, smiling out the window at the fresh flakes.

It was so lucky! Metro City rarely saw this much snow! Especially not these big, beautiful little puffs that stuck to everything like real snow was supposed to.

She checked her alarm clock, her toes curling delightedly as she realized two of her favorite aliens would be arriving in two hours to help her decorate. She scrambled out of bed, fetched her robe and towel, and began her routine. After a quick, warm shower, twenty minutes debating over what to wear, pulling out her box of ornaments from the top shelf of her closet, she bounced into the kitchen and headed right for the radio.

The station she flipped to was right in the middle of a Frank Sinatra Christmas special. Frank's voice instantly perked up the already perky woman, and she found herself bouncing on the tips of her toes as she danced towards the fridge.

She couldn't help herself as she pulled a can of sticky buns from the top shelf of the fridge. Soon her voice mixed with Frank's as her hips bounced and sashayed along to the upbeat music, the kitchen filling with the aroma of cinnamon and bacon. "_The fire is slowly dying, and, my dear, we're still goodbying! But as long as you loooove me sooo, Let it snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!"_

"Ah-HAH! So you're using some sort of black magic to make all these little white devils fall from the sky!"

Only years of being kidnapped at any given second by the same voice stopped her from letting out any sound of terror, though she did jump a bit and whirl around to brandish her spatula at him. "Hey, there's a door, Megamind!" She scolded.

He waved a hand dismissively at her as he shook his jacket out on the balcony, Minion behind him standing on one leg as he attempted to brush the snow out of his fur. "Pushaw. Front doors are for people without super-cool HoverBikes." He kicked off his boots and placed them just inside the door to keep from tracking the snow in as he strode into the kitchen, his nostrils flaring as he tried to identify the scent in the air. "And people who don't give a certain middle-aged doormen heart attacks every time they enter the building. Are you making cinnamon buns?"

Roxanne spun around to face him, brandishing her spatula like a sword. "Back away, space boy!" She told him.

Megamind held up his hands in surrender as Minion entered, finally snow-free (for the most part). He was carrying a box in one hand, but when Roxanne eyed it curiously, he sent her a sheepish smile and hid it behind his back. "Good morning Miss Ritchie. You look lovely this morning!"

Roxanne sent him a warm smile. "And you're looking festive." She replied, noting the Santa hat perched precariously on the top of his tank. "You guys sleep well last night?"

"Yeah, right." Minion scoffed. "The boss kept us up _all night_ because he couldn't concentrate on any one project until he-"

"Minion." Megamind flashed the fish a warning glare and shook his head. "Just because we're the good guys now doesn't mean you can just give into her nosy reporter skills."

Roxanne rolled her eyes and transferred the skillet with the eggs from one burner to the other as the timer for the sticky buns went off. "I figured we could snack on these today while we worked." She pulled on a mitt that looked like a smiling snowman as she opened the stove and removed the sticky buns. "Mmmm… Minion?"

"Miss Ritchie?"

She turned with the tray and grabbed cutting board, which she place on the counter in front of the fish. "Could you ice these for me?" She asked, retrieving the icing from the fridge and tossing it to him. Minion nodded eagerly and set to work, carefully and evenly dribbling the icing onto the buns.

"So… is today part two of the decorating lesson then, or a new lesson?" Megamind asked as he opened the cupboard that hid the dishes. He pulled out three plates and three mugs, setting them out on the counter.

Roxanne pulled the first plate towards her and began piling it with eggs and bacon. "Decorating. The tree is dry now, so after breakfast we can start with that." She gestured with her spatula to the coffee pot. "Can you pour the coffee, Blue?"

* * *

"Are all of these from your childhood Miss Ritchie?" Minion asked, fascinated by the little baubles as he lifted them up to examine each one before handing it to his master.

Roxanne nodded, picking up a crudely made cartoon Santa. It was made of dough-based clay and had been given to her by her younger sister. "Yep. Every time one of us struck out on our own, she would go through the ornament box and find the ones that we had made or been given. She packed them up, wrapped them in colorful paper, slapped a bow on them and gave the box to us as presents when the next Christmas came around."

Megamind held up one in the shape of a rattle with 'Baby's first Christmas' painted in pink on the plastic ball. "Who is this 'Baby' this one speaks of?"

Roxanne flushed a bit when she realized what he was talking about. "Oh, that was my first Christmas ornament. It's sort of a tradition for parents to get ornaments like that whenever they have a new kid."

Megamind examined it for a moment longer, and Roxanne thought she saw something deeper flash in his eyes before his smile was back in place. He set the hook on a mid-level branch and leaned back to admire their progress so far. "I must admit," He said as Minion handed him a glass ball with shiny ribbon shaped into a pretty flower inside. "Though these traditions make little sense to me… I am having fun."

Minion and Roxanne exchanged a quick smirk, both having to work very hard to stop themselves from shouting out 'Told you so!'

Megamind either didn't notice their smug smirks or was ignoring them as he nibbled absently on his cinnamon bun, wide green eyes locked on the tree.

Getting those lights up had been one hell of an ordeal. Almost as bad as getting the thing up in the stand. He couldn't fathom why he and Minion, who worked with complicated machinery for what amounted to a living, couldn't keep themselves from getting hopelessly tangled in a few lights as they tried to wrap them around the tree.

They were almost done with the ornaments, which would leave only the tinsel and the topper. He smirked a bit at the thought before setting his bun down and turning back to the boxes and bags of both old and new ornaments.

They made quick work of those, and then it was time for tinsel, Roxanne showed them how to put the shimmery silver strings up, by taking one or two and simply tossing them onto the branches. Somehow, that had ended up with the three of them running around the living room, laughing wildly as they tossed the tinsel at one another until Roxanne, trying to avoid a handful of the silvery mess aimed at her from Minion, tripped and crashed head-long into Megamind.

They toppled to the ground, still laughing, until it wound up with Roxanne half on top of the alien, their noses almost touching.

Their laughs ceased and they quickly scrambled up, trying to hide their blush as Minion chuckled behind his hand.

So, after the task of picking up each little silver string and placing it onto the tree, they collapsed onto the couch for a quick breather before they headed outside to hang up the icicle lights.

Roxanne quirked a brow at the HoverBike, parked mid-air, parallel to her railing.

How had a sight like that become a regular thing?

She shook her head and scurried over to the rail, brushing the snow off as she examined the outer face. "Well," She said, running her hands along the top of the rail. "We can just wrap it around a bit in certain places."

So they did just that, carefully weaving the white rubber strand in neat little loops around the spokes and top rail, from one wall, around, and to the other. They then unrolled the icicle strands and ran the short extension cord from the end of the strand to the outdoor plugin just to the left of the windows.

The lights blinked into life, dazzling them as they smiled at their handiwork.

Then they had the lights to hang up around the windows, the garlands to wrap around the decorative posts that lead from her living room to the rest of the apartment, candles and other decorative knick-knack to put up.

The last thing to do was hang up the stocking holder on the wall, and when they reached this step, Roxanne frowned. "Oh… I forgot about the stockings…"

Megamind examined the knit woolen sock she'd just hung up. It was green with little bits of fluff sewn on to be like snow. There was the face of a reindeer stitched on, smiling insanely up at him. Its nose was a bright red, which made Megamind wonder if the creature was sick.

Or radioactive.

"Roxie?" He asked.

Roxanne glanced away from the sock to him. "Yes?"

Megamind frowned. "Why are you hanging your laundry on the wall?"

Roxanne just stared at him for a moment, as though trying to see if he was being serious before she blinked and began to crack up, one hand against her face as the other wrapped around her stomach.

Megamind let out a huffy breath, wondering exactly what was so funny about the question as he waited for her laughter to cease. When it did, she surprised him by leaning over to peck his cheek. "It's not my laundry, Blue. It's a stocking. It's another tradition."

"And what does this one entail?"

She slipped her hand into his and led him back to the couch where Minion sat, busily tearing yet another sticky bun into little bits to drop into the top of his tank. He already knew what a stocking was.

"Well, see… the stocking is like… The first thing Santa fills. He puts candies and little toys and things into them for children before he puts the presents under the tree. The legend is that way back when, before he was the magical Santa Claus, he would go down the chimney of someone's house, so he could leave things for the children. But he didn't just want to leave them lying around, he wanted it to be a special surprise for the kids. Well, he saw their socks pinned up along the fireplace to dry, and thought that would be a good place to hide the presents."

Megamind just stared at her incredulously, having heard so many things wrong with the story he was surprised she could talk about it with such a dreamy expression. Namely the fact that a fat man in a red suit had squeezed himself down a chimeny to get into people's houses and raid small children's laundry. He looked quickly up at Minion, but the fish was too busy happily munching on the bun to help. He shook his head, deciding he would file all the questions that bag of worms just spewed away for later. "So… Minion and I are to bring our socks over to hang on you wall?" He glanced over as Minion lifted one robotic gorilla foot, the toes wiggling comically. The aliens exchanged raised brows before looking back at Roxanne. "He doesn't wear socks."

"We could borrow one of the feet from one of my other suits. Some of them have hollow joints…"

Roxanne chuckled. "Don't worry. We still have time. I'll take care of it." She sighed and flopped sideways to lie against Megamind's chest. The alien jumped a bit, instinctively leaning away a bit. After a tense moment and a quick glance at Minion (who was pointedly ignoring him, though Megamind swore he could see a smirk on the fish's face) he relaxed and draped his arm over Roxanne's shoulder. Roxanne shifted a bit closer. "Guess we'll have to go look for a tree topper tomorrow…"

Megamind coughed and leaned back against the couch as Minion snickered. "Or you could open that box."

Roxanne blinked a few times, frowning between the aliens before something clicked in her brain. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened in a little 'oh' of realization as she scrambled off the couch and retrieved the box Megamind had brought in.

He watched her warily, fidgeting with the collar of his shirt as she broke the tape holding the lid of the box down, and pulled its contents out.

Roxanne stared down in awe at the crystal-like, glowing blue star. It was lighter than it looked, weighing maybe as much as a stack of papers. It was made of some sort of durable, clear, smooth plastic of some sorts, twisted and distorted to give it a 'frosted' look. There was the outline of a star attached by a few fishing-line thin pipes to the smaller star in the center. It was from this that the blue light radiated, sending pulses of white-blue light through the entire structure.

"Oh Megamind… Did you make this?"

The alien, excited by her breathless tone and pleased smile nodded eagerly. "Minion helped. He's better at the aesthetics than I am."

Roxanne jumped to her feet and hurried to the tree. "Let's put it on! But how-?"

Minion stuck his hand into the air as he bounced up to his feet. "I can help, Miss Ritchie!" She smiled up at him as he took the star and extended his arms, carefully placing it on the top of the tree. When his arms had retracted to their normal length, she threw her arms up around his tank and kissed the glass. "It's looks beautiful!" She released him to capture Megamind in a bear-hug, making his master wince and grin at the same time. "You guys did a fantastic job! Thank you!"

* * *

Megamind glanced to his left, where his partner in crime- er… heroics was fast asleep, snoring noisily at the bottom of his tank. His eyes fell to the woman curled up on his chest, one hand draped tiredly across his stomach.

As much as he enjoyed the contact, he knew she might be peeved when she woke up in the morning with a stiff back and neck.

He gripped her shoulder and gave Roxanne a light shake. "Roxie."

The reporter blinked a few times before lifting her head off the thin chest to gaze around, confused, before she lifted her eyes to Megamind. "'Wh'time zit?" She murmured.

Megamind lifted his arm to check his watch. "Nearly midnight."

Roxanne let out a low, tired groan and flopped back against his chest, her lips pursed slightly. "Should prob'ly got to bed…" She murmured.

"Yes. Minion and I ought to be-"

Roxanne shifted, and her fist wound itself into the front of his shirt. "Mmm. Snowy. Late. Y'guys can jus'sleep here again…"

Megamind chuckled. Her half-conscious mumblings were quite amusing. "Alright, sleepy beauty." He said, carefully extracting himself from her grip. When he'd made it to his feet, he hauled her up, slipping one arm around her waist as he helped her down the hall. "Let's get you in bed."

"Sleeping Beauty." She murmured. "How d'you know that movie when y'don't even know about stockings?" She teased.

Megamind blinked as they made their way down the hall. "There's a movie called Sleepy Beauty?"

Roxanne just giggled as she leaned against him. "You'll have to remind me… show you. Good movie."

Megamind chuckled, glancing up curiously at something hanging from the doorway. They passed through it before he could determine it as more than a simple decoration, and another few feet placed them at her door. He opened it for her, but paused when his eyes, by chance, drifted upwards. "Roxanne…"

The groggy reporter blinked, slightly worried by his tone, wondering if something was wrong. "Hmm?"

"There are weeds, growing in your walls…"

Roxanne blinked and her gaze shot up to follow his frowning gaze to the doorframe. There, above their heads, were a few green leaves and a little cluster of berries.

Roxanne chuckled, turning with a sly smile to her alien. "No, Minion must've hung them up. It's mistletoe."

Megamind shifted from one foot to the other. "Let me guess… is this another Kroosmas tradition?"

Roxanne nodded and leaned against him until he stared down at her with that surprised, flushed look as his back hit the doorframe. "One of my favorites…"

"They're all your favorites."

"This one is particularly special." She wound her hand into the front of his shirt and pulled him down, brushing her lips against his.

Megamind's eyes were wide with shock and surprise as Roxanne pressed her lips to his again, a little harder this time, trying to coax him out of the startled daze she knew he was in. His green eyes slowly crossed just a bit before their lids slid closed, followed by the wrapping of his arms around her waist.

They broke apart too soon for either of their likings, faces flushed and breathing irregular as Roxanne sent him a sly smile. "So, what do you think of _this _'silly tradition'?" She teased.

Megamind chuckled weakly. "I'm beginning to see the appeal of the who-liday." He told her. He leaned in to peck her on the lips once more. "Get some sleep."

_Yes,_ he thought, as Roxanne retreated into her room and he glanced back up at the Mistletoe. _There is definitely something to this season._

_

* * *

_

**AUGH! I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS ONE WAS SO HARD TO WRITE, BUT IT WAS!**

**Blegh.**

**Anyway.**

**Next chapter will be playing in the snow.**


	5. Lesson 4: Playing in the Snow

**Hey guys. I'm really sorry. My laptop practically exploded on me. Again. The adapter caught on fire. Again. Which caused the fan to break. Again.**

**You'd think it was an easy fix, right?**

**No. We purchased a faulty replacment adapter that melted within five minutes of me plugging it in. It caught the arm of my couch on fire and filled our house with the smell of smoke and battery acid for two days. Weeeeeelll... All of my Christmas stories were on my laptop. I just finally got a new cord. So, because my POS computer is a POS, and died before I could type up all the chapters and save them into my document manager, I'm not done. Once I'm finished typing the rest, I'll post them up. But for now, enjoy these ones.**

* * *

She woke a little later than she'd intended the next day, and upon entering the living room with the intention of making the boys take her out for breakfast this morning, she was greeted by an empty room and a small note scribbled on a half-sheet of notebook paper:

_Some amateur is attacking city hall with animatronic snowmen. No problem for Minion and myself of course. Coffee after? LOL MM._

Roxanne chuckled weakly at his misuse of the term lol. She would have found it amusing, endearing even, if it hadn't been for these 'Animatronic Snowmen'. His blasé dismissal did little to assure her.

* * *

As it happened, he'd apprehended the not-so-supervillain long before she'd even arrived, and was standing awkwardly between the mayor and the chief of police as the sea of reporters tried to push ever closer. She did a quick sweep-check of her boyfriend, and was relieved to see that the only thing out of place was the faint tendril of smoke curling off the hem of his cape.

She caught his eye, and he flashed her a pained half-smile as he was cuffed on the back by the mayor, thanking him heartily as the cameras flashed away.

Her phone chose that moment to go off in her pocket, vibrating against her hip.

She grimaced at the message from her cameraman.

_1st day of xmas break 4 the SD. Boss wants us 2 cover. Harry&Alissa covering ur BF. Meet u n park in ten?_

_-J_

Roxanne sighed. Typical. Coffee would have to wait.

_Kk. w/MM now. BRT._

_-R_

Roxanne looked up, and managed to catch Megamind's questioning glance. She held up one finger, signing for him to wait a moment as she flipped her phone open again.

_Work called. School's out for break and wants J&me to cover. Rain check on that coffee? LOL, RR._

She hit send, blew him a kiss and sent him a small, apologetic wave before backing out of the crowd and jogging down the street.

* * *

The children behind her cheered, waving furiously at the camera from behind her as they bounced on the tips of their toes in an attempt to be seen by the camera better. A few called hello to family members and friends, or shouted various holiday greetings as Roxanne smiled at them.

"Those here want me to send a message to any kid sitting indoors on one of the best days of the season: They need more people for teams in what promises to be an 'epic snowball _war'_, so hurry down to Metro City Youth Academy because they're picking teams in five minutes."

She made the swiping motion below her neck and the little red dot blinked off as the children behind her cheered. They scattered almost instantly, snowballs flying once more.

Joel laughed. "Aww, remember those days Rox?" He said a bit wistfully.

Roxanne chuckled. "Oh yes. Vacation, no work. And the worst thing you had to worry about in winter was when your next snow day was coming." She tapped the microphone against her palm as she followed Joel to the van. "Yes, I remember them well."

Joel chuckled as he hauled the camera into the back. "Hey, did you catch any of your boyfriend's battle this morning?"

Roxanne grimaced. "No, we were up late last night, decorating the house so I woke up late. By the time I got there, the reporters had already swarmed the poor guy."

Joel chuckled. "Aww, I don't think ya missed much. I mean, one of those snowman things did explode pretty close to him, but like you saw, he's okay. That Snowballer guy wasn't much of a villain."

It was Roxanne's turn to chuckle as they leaned against the van to watch the kids pelt each other with snowballs. "Snowballer. What a name."

"Yeah. You know," His demeanor turned a bit sagely, his expression serious as he squinted off into the distance. "For as you know… not-so-intimidating or even dangerous as your alien was, at least he had _style._ At least he could _entertain _us while striking 'fear' into our very cores_._"

Roxanne cracked up again, giving the man a friendly punch on the shoulder as his face split into a wide grin. "Careful there stud. If he hears you saying that…"

"Who hears who saying what?"

Both turned to see Megamind, once more in civilian clothes, coming towards them. Roxanne sent him a sly smirk and pecked his cheek once he was close enough. "You hear Joel say how much cooler The Snowballer's costume is than yours."

Joel sighed, lifting his hands into the air in an I-give-up gesture. "What can I say, M&M?" The cameraman asked. "Guess I like red better."

Megamind let out an indignant cry. "He was wearing a _Santa suit _for crying out loud! Where's the creativity? The appeal! How can you-"

Joel laughed. "Chill Big Blue, I'm just kidding. You're still my favorite color. Anyway, my parents are coming in from Chicago later today, so I'm gonna split. I mean," He sighed again. "Mom's just gonna re-clean my apartment anyway, but, I might as well make an effort."

The pair laughed as Roxanne and Joel hugged goodbye. "See you later Joel. Tell your parents Happy Chanukah for me."

"Yeah, I will." He released her and offered a hand to Megamind, smirking at the blue hero as Megamind accepted his hand and shook it. "And you two have a Happy Christmas. Don't get into too much trouble without me." He told them.

Megamind smiled dryly. "We'll try. Happy Who-lidays, Joel."

"Happy _Hol_-idays, hun." Roxanne gave Joel a small finger-wave as the man crawled into the van, chuckling at Megamind's mispronunciation. "Good luck with the parents. Try not to freeze."

They watched him speed off before turning to walk down the street. "Thanks for the note this morning." Roxanne said once the van disappeared. "You sure you're not hurt at all?" She asked.

Megamind lifted and arm and bent it at the elbow in a body-builder like pose. "Pfft. As if such a hack as _The Snowballer _could harm the incredibly handsome super genius and master of all heroic…ing…ness."

"Nice finish."

"Oh hush."

Roxanne chuckled and leaned closer to Megamind as the snow began to fall once more. "So you want to go get some coffee now-"

They both heard it about the same time: the whispers, the nervous giggles as they approached the fence that sectioned the playground off from the street.

"Look, it's _him._"

"It's Megamind!"

"Wow!"

"His head really _is _that big in real life!"

Roxanne had to stifle a laugh at that last one as her boyfriend flushed and rolled his eyes angrily. He was about to pull her across the street to avoid the little… the small things but one small voice called him back. "Mister Megamind?"

They turned to see a little boy being nudged forward by his friends. The lad cautiously approached the fence, even closer than any of the other children. Megamind shot Roxanne a confused glance before turning back to the child. "Yes?"

Clearly encouraged by the simple, one-word response, the child's face split into a wide grin as he closed the distance between him and the fence and stood on the tips of his toes to peer over it. "Do you and Miss Ritchie wanna be in our snowball fight?"

Roxanne smiled and opened her mouth to reply, when she felt Megamind tense beside her and start to take a step back. She turned to frown questioningly at him, but he looked down at his feet, avoiding eye contact. "I… I think I'll just go back to the lair and-"

"Why?"

Megamind blinked, his cheeks warm as he grimaced sideways at her. "I've only been in one snowball fight." She stared at him blankly, waiting for him to continue. He let out a low sigh. "When I went to school. It snowed one day, and the teacher let us, well, made me, go outside to play in it. When her back was turned, Metro Boy dropped a beach-ball sized snowball on my head because the other children thought it would be funny." He glanced at the children who still eyed them hopefully between throwing snow at one another. "It was actually also the only time I'd ever really been out in the snow to 'play'."

Roxanne grimaced sympathetically and reached up to pat his shoulder. "Well, there aren't any children here strong enough to even lift such a thing. Come on, Blue!" She said, her expression flashing to a dazzling smile. "It'll be fun! It's easy: just duck, scoop, and throw!" She demonstrated as such, and when she stood, she feigned throwing it down the street before altering her aim and smashing it against his chest.

Megamind blinked, his eyes wide as he looked down to where her palm flattened against the front of his jacket, smearing the snow into the fabric before she took off towards the playground, giggling madly as the children cried with delight and began to throw volleys of mush balls in her direction.

Megamind grinned almost evilly as he wiped his jacket off before bending and scooping up a handful of snow. He patted it into a ball as he'd seen her do and took off after her.

Snow fell from the skies as their icy projectiles splattered against one another. Megamind felt as though his face would crack into as he cowered behind a tree, grateful for his thin frame as snowballs went whizzing past his hiding spot. The snowball war lasted for nearly an hour, until their hands changed colors and their arms began to numb. Still, Megamind was having fun. He felt himself get lost in a childhood activity he'd never had, laughing as Roxanne stuck her tongue out at him when the snowball he'd just thrown barely missed her.

It was then a lesson in the art of snowman making when the children took a break from the fight, tired out and pink in the cheeks. He wound up somehow making one with a very authoritative little girl, who kept sending him back to the street to find better gravel to use for the eyes and the smile. Finally, he found a dozen stones that met her requirements, and helped her place them on the face of the snow beast. He was pressing the last eye into place when he felt his hat snatched off his head, and watched as the little girl arranged it on the snowman's head. "Just one more thing!" She declared, dropping to her knees beside him. She stuck one finger out and began to trace a design on the 'chest' of the snowman.

Megamind watched with an arched brow as she finished the first line and moved onto another. "What are you-"

"Shh! Just be patient silly!"

Megamind fell into silence, flopping back onto his backside to watch her. She traced a total of six lines before she bounced up onto her feet and spread her arms wide, her smile triumphant. "Ta-da! See?" She asked. "It's you in your superhero costume!"

Megamind blinked at her, then at the snowman. He tilted his head to one side, staring at the faint, crude design drawn into the thing's 'chest'. His eyes widened as he spotted the distinctive shape of the lightning bolt he donned, and his lips cracked back in a wide, toothy grin. "Look at that!" He said. "It is my symbol!"

The little girl nodded and clapped her hands together eagerly, "Do you like it?" She asked him.

Megamind nodded. "I do. You're quite the talented snowman designer. I'm glad you weren't teamed up with The Snowballer this morning." He told her.

The little girl giggled and threw her arms around the alien, locking him in a wind-pipe-crushing bear hug.

"Susan! Mommy says it's time to go!"

Megamind looked over as the girl released him. A small boy was waving her over, staring curiously at Megamind. The little girl waved back to him before turning and pulling Megamind into another crushing hug before dashing off. "Thanks for building a snowman with me, Mister Megamind!"

The alien stared after her, his expression soft as she turned back halfway to her mother's car and waved back at him.

"New girlfriend?" A teasing voice asked from behind him as he waved back.

Megamind craned his neck around to see Roxanne standing on the other side of the snowman. He rolled his eyes and hauled himself to his feet. "Oh you think you're so funny Miss Ritchie. You're just jealous of our fantastic Megasnowmanmind." He told her, gesturing to the lightning bolt.

Roxanne laughed held her hand out for his. He eagerly accepted, pulling the shivering reporter closer as they made their way towards the park's exit. "I am. So, did you enjoy yourself?"

Megamind smiled softly. "You know? I did. It was… fun."

Roxanne smiled and leaned against his shoulder. "And you almost said no, all because of something that happened like twenty years ago."

Megamind chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well I'm glad I did-" His hand touched the place where the edge of his hat should've been. The hat wasn't there, and he realized quite suddenly that his impressive dome was freezing.

The snowman!

He made to turn back with a murmur of 'forgot my hat' but Roxanne pulled him back. "It's alright, Blue, we'll get you a new one. It's bad luck to undress your snowman before it melts. That's why the kids bring extra clothes."

He frowned, confused, down at her for a moment before turning back to look at the snowmen. Now that she'd mentioned it, he saw snowbeasts here and there with scarves, gloves, and hats, and the occasional jacket or pair of sunglasses. "Well… what happens to the clothes? I mean, do you take them back when the snow melts? What if someone steals-"

Roxanne smiled. "Well, sometimes people come back for the clothes, sometimes not. And if someone steals them, well… someone steals them."

"I like that hat…" He murmured.

Roxanne chuckled. "Like I said, we'll get you a new one. You don't want bad luck, do you? Come on, there's one more winter thing I want to do with you!"

* * *

"I don't know about this Roxie…" He muttered nervously. Beside him, the reporter just laughed as she laced up her boots.

"Oh come on, it'll be fun. It's easy!" She insisted.

Megamind grimaced, staring nervously out across the ice as people skated around it, jumping, swirling, turning, or simply skating hand-in-hand with friend or lover.

Ice skating.

Was she insane?

Megamind swallowed nervously as they finished lacing up their boots, and reluctantly wobbled into an upright position with his arms out to his side, fingers spread wide and bent over at the waist just slightly to keep his balance. He ignored Roxanne's stifled chuckles as he hobbled after her out onto the ice, arms swinging as he nearly lost his balance more than once.

Then the metal blade caught the ice and if it hadn't been for the railing on either side of him, he would've done a very painful, very cold split.

Roxanne let out a short laugh, ignoring the alien's heated glare as she hooked her hands under his armpits and hauled him up. "You're really uncoordinated, aren't you?"

"I have a high center of gravity!"

Roxanne just chuckled and slipped her hands into his, pulling him further out onto the ice as she skated backwards. "Just relax. If you get all tense and afraid to fall, then you _will_ fall." She told him.

Megamind grimaced and gripped her hands a little tighter as his feet jerked around beneath him, trying to get into the right positions as she effortlessly skated backwards into the ice traffic, joining the flow around the frozen rink.

He glanced nervously around him as he felt the heated stares of those around them: people were staring and pointing openly, and very few of those close to them were bothering to really cover their whispers as he struggled to keep up with Roxanne. It was like the first day of school all over again, and he felt his cheeks warm uncomfortably, and knew they were turning a violent shade of violet. "This is embarrassing!" He hissed.

Roxanne sent him a sympathetic smile and gave his hands a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry about them, Blue. Just relax."

Megamind grimaced, wobbling again as they made the slow curve around the outer wall of the rink. He let out a slow breath and fixed a determined expression on his feet, willing them to move into the correct positions. His left foot suddenly wobbled and bent sideways, sending him stumbling towards the wall. His shoulder crashed painfully into the Plexiglas siding and he let out a frustrated growl as he righted himself. "This is impossible! How do you do it?" He demanded.

Roxanne smiled patiently and helped him right himself. "Don't worry, it's just something that needs practice. Looking at your feet doesn't help. Just look straight ahead. Listen, it's hard to explain, but see how everyone else is moving their feet?"

He glanced up from his own, glaring enviously at passerby as they moved gracefully over the ice. They were making sweeping sort of motions with their legs, pushing off on either side and swinging the opposite arm. He set his expression to determined once again and stared straight ahead, just to the side of Roxanne's right ear and tried to mimic the other's actions.

He felt Roxanne's hand leave his as the reporter moved to his side, gliding effortlessly along beside him. They skated like that for a while, him trying desperately not to fall over and make a fool of himself in front of everyone, her simply people-watching and occasionally helping him with a steadying hand.

She suddenly lifted her arm to check her watch, and grinned. "Almost time!"

Megamind blinked, glancing away from the man he'd enviously been watching dance with a female companion across the ice. He was getting better at this: he hadn't almost fallen for nearly a whole lap, and was immensely pleased with himself. "Almost time for what?"

Roxanne grinned and gave his hand a squeeze. "You'll see in about five minutes."

Jingle Bell Rock began to play as they made another circuit, laughing and discussing plans for Christmas, what they should get Minion, when the music quite suddenly cut off and everyone came to a halt, whispering excitedly to one another.

Megamind stared around him curiously, stumbling a bit as he came to a stop and turned his head this way and that to find the source of the sudden halt of the rink. "Roxanne?"

"Watch!" She said quietly.

Megamind noticed people were looking around expectantly, peering into the darkness.

Lights suddenly flared up around them, little dots of colorful lights. People began to gasp as the lights began to crawl up garland-covered lampposts, wind up and over railings, twinkle from the decorative hedges lining the rink. The tree towering above the rink suddenly flared into life, the electric buzz of so many lights reminding him vaguely of his once-evil lair.

The lights threw an odd, glittering shine over the ice, drawing more gasps from the crowd as lights in the ground beneath the ice also lit up.

Megamind's eyes widened until he was sure they would pop out of his head. It was…

Roxanne smiled up at him as his jaw fell slack in a silent 'wow'. "Pretty, isn't it?" She asked him quietly.

Megamind nodded slowly. "Beautiful…"

Roxanne leaned against his shoulder contentedly.

* * *

**Well.**

**That was an abrupt ending, but this chapter was a bit of a bitch. Not sure why. Anyway, next up is Christmas movies/baking.**

**For those of us that aren't text-savvy (like myself most of the time) here are the translations for Joel and Roxanne's conversation:**

**_First day of Christmas break for the school district. Boss wants us to cover. Harry and Alissa covering your boyfriend. Meet you in the park in ten?_**

**_-Joel_**

**_Okay. With Megamind now. Be right there._**

**_-Roxanne._**

Also, for anyone interested, Joel is based on a combination of three people I know: One I met briefly and would've been great friends with, and two whom I love dearly as friends. The first guy is a gay, Jewish tattoo artist. No joke. If he'd been more than the guy who happened to be recommended to one of my friends when she wanted to get something on her ankle that we had to drive four hours to go see him for, the contradictions alone, coupled with the fact that he's hilarious and smart as hell, told me we would've been great friends. Joel's personality is based on my two friends mostly, with some of the tattoo guy in him, though his personality is more of one while his quirks are more of the other. One quirk? He's attracted to another of our friend's boyfriend, and jokingly hits on him all the time but would absoloutely never act on it.


	6. Lesson 5: Christmas Movies

Minion glanced towards the clock for what felt like the hundredth time that morning as he turned the bacon and mushroom omelet he was making Megamind over. Roxanne was supposed to be here any moment with the goods…

His master had kept him up all night, voicing equations and theories out loud while Minion slumped against the wall, forcing himself to stay awake and listen to his friend's insane ramblings. He tried, many times, to explain to Megamind that _Christ_mas Cheer wasn't something that could be measured by formulas and quantities. It couldn't be synthesized, trees did not contain some secret pheromone produced in December that allowed reindeer to fly, Santa was not an alien bent on secret world domination through mind-controlling devices hidden inside the toys built at the North Pole, and about three dozen other increasingly ludicrous ideas. He'd finally just powered down once his master had dashed back to the chalkboard to modify one of the formulas, and Megamind had apparently been too wrapped up in his thoughts to notice.

This morning, Minion had woken up to Megamind stirring some glowing green concoction before dropping a clipping from a fir tree in.

The fish shook his metaphorical head and glanced at the clock again…

"Bawg Bawg"

Minion turned in his bowl to the trio of BrainBots that had just drifted into the kitchen. The middle one, SkullClops, barked mechanically at Minion.

"Good boys." He reached out to pat SkullClops' dome, having understood the machine's message. "Go let her in, I'll be right there."

_We'll have to install a doorbell of some kind for her…_

He pulled his apron off and set it on the hook beside the fridge before lumbering off towards the front entrance.

* * *

"I really appreciate this, Miss Ritchie. I don't want to be up on Christmas Eve with him, pointing a laser at the furnace to make sure Santa doesn't come through."

Roxanne just smiled knowingly, hoisting the overflowing box into a more comfortable position in her arms as Minion closed the secret door behind them. "No problem. We should have thought of this days ago. I'm surprised none of the inmates told him Christmas stories…" Her tone took on a bitter aftertaste, and Minion cringed.

"There are a lot of Earth childhood wonders he missed out on, Miss Ritchie. Christmas being one of them." He murmured as he reached out to take the box from her.

Roxanne just made a disapproving little hum and followed him down the hall to the scissor lift that led to the fake Observatory.

Megamind had retreated to the observatory, his Thinking Corner too cluttered now. Up here, he'd set up two dry-erase boards and another chalkboard, with countless scraps of paper hanging from the ceiling.

Roxanne watched him for a moment, amused, before she popped one wide hip, resting a hand against it in a way she knew he'd drool over, and cleared her throat.

As suspected, once his emerald gaze found her face, it dropped to the jutted hip where his pupils dilated ever so much before shifting to the box in Minion's hands. "Er…" Was his brilliant response.

Roxanne strode forward and took one of his hands in one of her own and led him over to the high-back office chair. "As I understand it, you kept poor Minion up all night, turning Christmas into some sort of logic game-"

"I was merely-"

"-So Minion called me this morning, half-desperate, and we think we've come up with a solution." She gestured Minion over, and the grinning fish hurried forward with the box, setting it on the console behind the chair.

Megamind half-rose from his seat, his face twisted in an expression of confusion and suspicion. "Be careful with those controls, I haven't disa-"

She planted a hand on his shoulder, the other on her popped hip once more as she shoved him back down into the seat, pushing him backwards until the back of the seat was stopped by the console. "Aren't you going to ask what's in the box?" She asked sweetly.

Megamind stared up at her with wide-eyed confusion and anxiety. His eyes hesitantly left her face to examine the box as Minion stepped back, an innocent, fangy smile on his face. He craned his neck, frowning at the contents before turning to Roxanne with a bewildered frown. "VHS tapes?"

Roxanne smirked down at him and nodded. "Correct. More specifically, Christmas movies. Which you, Minion, and myself, are going to watch." Megamind's brows knit together in the center of his forehead, and his mouth popped open to ask what she meant, but Roxanne leaned forward again to cover his mouth with her hand. "No arguing." She replaced her hand with a quick peck and straightened up to spin his chair around. She grabbed the back and ignored his protests as she wheeled him onto the scissor lift. "Minion, could you grab the box?"

* * *

The ex-villain slumped into his spot on the couch as Minion perched on one side of him, systematically tossing individual pieces of popcorn up into the air and catching them in his bowl. Megamind sighed, carefully examining the top of Roxanne's head as it bobbed around behind the cart that the ancient VHS player was perched on. "Are you sure you don't want help?"

"Don't make me hurt you, Blue."

Minion chuckled, though the sound was quickly cut off when Megamind sent his fishy companion a withering glare. The alien shook his head and straightened up, peering over the edge of the cart at his girlfriend. "All I'm saying is I'm an inventor: a mechanical genius. It would be-"

Her face suddenly appeared over the top of the outdated machinery. "Megamind, I _will _hurt you." She disappeared again, and after a short moment let out a triumphant 'ha!' The reporter dashed out from behind the cart and bounced onto the couch beside him, pointing the remote at the box.

There was a click, and a groaning sound as the VHS player kicked to life. Then a painful-sounding whir…

The screen hanging on the wall blinked blue for a moment before an FBI warning appeared, and Roxanne let out another thrilled little hoot of victory.

"Hah! Told you I didn't need your help, space-boy." She leaned over and pecked his cheek as one of her favorite movies of all time began to roll the opening sequence.

"_Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems,_

_in a place that perhaps you've seen in your dreams._

_For the story that you are about to be told,_

_took place in the holiday worlds of old._

_Now you've probably wondered where holidays come from._

_If you haven't, I'd say it's time you've begun."_

Slumped between his friends, he could only look upon the movie with bemusement. The strange, blocky, out-dated graphics that at one point he'd asked Roxanne about, only to be hushed by a hiss of "It's stop-motion!" before she popped another piece of pop-ed corn between her plump lips.

Megamind sighed loudly and received an elbow in each rib as 'The Pumpkin King' rose from a polluted-looking fountain.

He settled in, ready to fake watching it while really dozing off, when the second song started.

He shifted uncomfortably as past feelings of inadequacy flared inside him. He understood the lamentation well, then quickly scolded himself for identifying in such a way with a _child's _movie…

But what did this have to do with Christmas?

He voiced just that and was hushed again with a "Just shush and watch!"

So once again he resigned to leaning back against the couch and enduring the musical monstrosity. He had to chuckle a bit at Zero, who reminded him a bit of his BrainBots.

"_Jack, please! I'm only an elected official here, I can't make decisions by myself!"_

Megamind had to let out a roar of laughter at that, and was once more silenced with two 'hush's and two jabs in the ribs.

Then the skeleton-man came across a clearing inside a circle of trees with different holiday emblems on them…

One being a Christmas tree…

* * *

He frowned thoughtfully as Jack and Sally embraced beneath the moon.

With a quick glance to either side, Megamind realized that his companions were eyeing him expectantly. The alien let out a sigh and shrugged. "It was an acceptable movie I supposed. Though far too much singing for my tastes…"

Minion groaned, but Roxanne just jumped to her feet and strode determinedly towards the box. "Doooooooon't worry, my dear Minion." She declared. "We'll get this. There are more than thirty movies in here." She told them both. She turned with a hardened frown directed at Megamind as she brandished a movie with a beat-up cover depicting a reindeer with a glowing nose…The same one that was on Roxanne's stocking.

* * *

Megamind yawned loudly and Cindy Lou-Who and the Grinch joined the other Who's around the tree and glanced down into his lap where Roxanne's head was currently resting. He looked to Minion, asleep at the bottom of his tank and sighed.

They'd been at this since ten in the morning, with only a break for lunch and dinner, and for Megamind and Minion to fly off and stop a violent heist in the West Side. It was now nearly midnight.

Megamind felt his head drop sideways onto Minion's shoulder as he stared blearily at the soft creature sleeping in his lap as he tried to sort through the various videos and glean what Roxanne and Minion had been trying to teach him from his various mental notes.

The Nightmare Before Christmas… What had that taught him? Well… he supposed they were making an analogy that he was somewhat like Jack: trying to figure out what Christmas was… though Megamind had no intention of trying to take it over… What else then…?

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer… Be kind to others because their radioactivity may one day save your ass during the holidays? Well… he supposed. At least now he knew something of the… mechanics of the holiday.

Frosty The Snowman? Miracle on 34th Street? Charlie Brown's Christmas? It's a Wonderful Life! Scrooged! Elf (that one had been on DVD)!

How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Megamind grimaced and rubbed his eyes again. If he'd learned anything, it was that there was a lot of 'heartwarming' singing in Christmas movies that made him want to ram spikes through his impressive ears.

There was something there though… It was like searching for a word when it was on the tip of your tongue. He felt as though he was beginning to grasp the concept of Holiday Cheer… but it still eluded him… He shook his head and frowned thoughtfully down at his girlfriend.

What was Christmas?

* * *

**Ugh… sorry for the shortness and lateness. I was bombarded by ideas for dozens of oneshots… and… admittedly I fell a little out of love with the rest of this story… I'm going to finish this, then Shit Storm and then try and get all these stupid one-shots out of my head before I either try and finish Clean Slate or start on a Megamind story…**

**Too much to doooooooo….**

**Anyway…**


	7. Lesson 6: The Gift of Giving

**Ugh... Sorry. Again. For the wait. I dunno what's wrong with me. Now, instead of wanting to write, instead of drawing, all I want to do is draw, instead of write. I already got two pictures up in the last week, and am working on like a million others... of course... most of them are bases... and are related to my Apocalypse series... Not to mention ALL THESE FREAKING STORY IDEAS IN MAH BRAINS... Too much inspiration.**

**I have inspiration constipation.**

**Gross.**

**Anyway. On with the poorly written chapter. Sorry if Bernard seems OOC. I just figured he'd be a little more cranky in a crowded mall around the holidays than he would on a lonely catwalk with Roxanne.**

**

* * *

**

He could feel his breath hitch in his chest as a bead of sweat rolled down the back of his neck. With shaky hands, he swiped at his brow and peaked around the edge of the wall.

_Come ON Megamind… you can DO this. You are the incredibly handsome, former criminal genius and master of all heroing! _He berated himself. The blue hero took a deep breath, counted backwards from five, and leapt back into the fray.

"Eep! Megamind!"

"Oh my god! It's Megamind!"

"Can I have your autograph?"

"He's gonna rob us!"

"Unhand that neck massager, you harlot!"

Megamind found himself bustled off to the side again, and ducked into an alcove as bodies rushed past. Men and women of every shape, size, and temperament rushed past his hiding spot, shouting to one another, carting dozens of bags and frightened-looking children that tried not to get stepped on. Grown women fought like ravenous wolves over things in display cases, and at one point he thought he heard the tinkling of broken glass and a series of angry shouts.

Megamind swallowed and slumped back against the wall.

Why was he here again?

Oh yeah.

Presents.

Tomorrow was Christmas Eve.

He had less than two days to find gifts for Minion, Roxanne, and Joel. Oh, and Music Man.

He was still wondering how he'd gotten talked into that…

He took a deep breath, and once again dove back into the chaos.

Megamind found himself lost in the sea of bodies, shoved one way and then the other, jostled this way, then that. Something hard made contact with his back. His face met someone's knee as he went crashing towards the ground, only to have something grab the back of his shirt and yank him out of the fray.

"Haven't you ever been to a mall? Even in disguise?"

Megamind whipped around as he regained his footing, facing the dry, sardonic museum curator. "No, I haven't."

Bernard sucked with an uninterested air on the straw sticking out of his iced coffee. They stood in the small alcove, staring one another down with a semi-awkward air until Megamind cleared his throat and had the idea to thank the bespectacled drone. "Um… thanks for-"

"Don't mention it. What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn't you be huddled over some blueprints in the darkness of your lair?"

"Shouldn't you be subtly insulting patrons at the museum?"

"It's closed, moron. My insults are direct and uncensored until January second."

Megamind rolled his eyes. "Lucky us."

"You didn't answer my question." Bernard noted, sliding onto the wooden bench he'd placed his package under.

Megamind considered the man for a moment before hesitantly sliding onto the bench beside him. "Shopping for Kreestmas presents."

Bernard gave the alien an odd look then, though his lips barely left the iced coffee until he actually opened his mouth to speak. "You seriously waited this long to go shopping? I thought you were a genius. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Megamind rolled his eyes, and his cheeks flush a brilliant shade of indigo. "I didn't know until a few days ago that I was even celebrating this… ridiculous holiday."

Bernard quirked a questioning brow. "Roxanne?"

"Roxanne." Megamind confirmed. If it hadn't been for her, he'd probably just have had a cup of peppermint cocoa with Minion as usual, and then cause hell for the other citizens. This would be the first year since he was nine or ten that he wouldn't be causing some sort of havoc. Even back then, the only thing that kept him from unleashing bitter revenge on the citizens was the fact that he was trapped within the confines of the prison.

Bernard sighed as his straw began to suck on air and threw the plastic cup into the overflowing garbage can. He continued to sit there though, his hands on his knees and his lidded, unfocused gaze on the crowd before him, as though reluctant to exert the energy and effort required to navigate the insanity.

"What are _you _doing here?" Megamind suddenly blurted.

Bernard shot him a sidelong glance. "I needed a platter for tomorrow. Mine broke during Thanksgiving."

"Ah."

The pair sat in silence, Bernard simply lazy and contemplating whether or not he should even try to fight his way through the crowd, Megamind jiggling his knee anxiously as he eyed the store signs above peoples' heads.

He suddenly whirled to face the curator, causing the emotionless man's eyes to widen in surprise as he jerked away from the ex-villain. "How do you do it?" Megamind demanded.

Bernard frowned. "Do what?"

"Buy people presents. How do you do it? I've already been in dozens of stores, and for the life of me, I can't figure out what to do! What is there to even buy for a fish! He already has ever cooking appliance known to man, and several I invented myself! I thought about all the other things he does and likes, and still I can't find _one damn thing! _And don't get me started on Roxanne and M… Joel! I mean-"

Bernard's eyes grew round and large as saucers as his brows knit together. One hand shot up to cover the alien's mouth. "Stop." Bernard spat. "Talking!"

Megamind slumped forward, lowering his eyes sheepishly as his hands folded in his lap. "Sorry. I don't understand this holiday. The only consistencies I can find in those movies Roxanne and Minion made me watch are of no help at all. What the hell is a 'Wangdoodle' anyways?"

Bernard, very tempted to slap the alien, ran a hand through his hair. "Why are you asking me this? I don't even like this stupid holiday. The only reason I'm celebrating at all is because my mother wouldn't stop harping on me about it." His attention suddenly flicked sideways to the distressed alien, and to his relief, noticed Megamind was too wrapped up in his own thoughts to catch the comment. Or at least all of it.

"What am I gonna do? I don't want to mess this up… Roxanne loves Christmas…" He murmured.

Bernard rolled his eyes. "It's not that hard to buy a gift for someone, Megamind. Even if you don't know what they _like_, just make sure you know what they absolutely _don't like_. Better buy something that isn't their favorite, than buy something they hate." He shrugged. "But just in case, keep the receipt. That way they can return it if you screw up, and get the present they actually want, themselves."

Megamind stared at him, bewildered. "That was… incredibly unhelpful, Mr. Jones."

Bernard rolled his eyes as his gaze lowered to his watch. "As much as I've enjoyed your holiday whining, I have to go, lest I suffer the wrath of the Jones women that have taken over my kitchen. Try not to get that ridiculous head trampled."

"Try to find a personality."

]]]]]

_Would she absolutely not like this? What the heck is it anyway?_

He crouched down to peer at the label. Some sort of handheld vacuum… Would she hate it? Like it at all? Want to return it and buy the gift she actually wanted on her own?

No… that didn't seem right. What was wrong with him, taking advice from _Bernard?_ He barely even knew the man! Gah! Why couldn't Joel be here? That man knew more about this shopping and gift giving stuff than Megamind ever would! But then who would help him find a gift for Joel?

Megamind straightened and let out an exasperated sigh, his hands fisted on his hips as he stared helplessly down at the white box.

"Um… c… can I… can I help you with anything… Mr. Megamind… sir?"

The alien spun towards the timid voice with a shocked expression, arms instinctively raising to defend himself when he realized it was just a woman in a red vest, staring fearfully up at him.

Megamind interlaced his fingers and cast her a sheepish sort of smile. "I… I'm… trying to Kroosmas shop… and… I never… never have before." He admitted quietly.

The girl quirked a brow at him, her fears suddenly banished in her surprise. "Really-… oh… well… didn't you and Mr. Minion-?"

"No." He sighed.

The girl frowned in an almost thoughtful way at him as he turned back to the vacuum cleaners, his own brow furrowed. She shifted uneasily from foot to foot. "Well… who are you shopping for? Just Minion or… Aren't you going out with Miss Ritchie?"

Megamind nodded jerkily, still staring at the vacuums. "I need presents for them and one for… a friend."

The girl put a hand to her chin, and fist the other on her hip as she contemplated this unusual customer. "Well… do you have any idea about what you want to get them?"

Megamind shook his head hopelessly. The pair stood silently for a moment, Megamind staring blankly at the box and the clerk nervously shifting position as she tried to figure out what she should do in this situation. Suddenly, Megamind jumped and straightened, spinning to face the girl, holding his hands out, palms up to her. "Wait a moment! You're a girl!" He declared.

The girl smiled dryly, not sure whether to be insulted or amused. "Yes, I am."

Megamind clasped his hands against his chest, staring pleadingly at her. "What do girls like for gifts? Please, help me! This Kroosmas means a lot to Roxanne and I don't want to mess it up!"

The girl took a nervous step back before peering curiously over his shoulder. His expression fell to a sympathetic smile. "Well… getting a girl something that's for any type of work, is usually a bad idea. Unless the specifically ask for it. Even then, it's probably only a good idea if you get her something else as well. For starters." She checked her watch, much like Bernard had before lifting the thumb of the same hand to her lips so she could chew anxiously on her nail. "You know… I actually get off in fifteen minutes, and my date isn't until seven. I could help you, if you wanted." She tacked on, looking up at him with eyes full of hopefulness, fear, and awe all at the same time.

Megamind's own were possibly bugging out of his head in shock. "You… you would do that?"

The girl smiled weakly and shrugged. "It's Christmas, Mr. Megamind. Goodwill towards all mankind, you know? And even if you aren't…" She hesitated, gesturing airily at him. "human… I mean, the concept is… I mean…"

Megamind smiled gratefully at her. "I understand, and thank you. I appreciate this. The kindness and the help. Miss…?"

"Annie. Annie Hatcher. And I'm glad to be able to help out the city's new hero."

[[[[[[[[[[[[

Twenty minutes later, still thoroughly confused by how she'd put herself into this position, she was leading the alien who she'd once feared through the mall. "Okay, Mr. Mind. The first thing you should know is it's the thought behind the gift that means the most." She told him as they shuffled through a small family. "You have to be thinking about the person when you get a gift. It has to mean something. Like… you can get anyone a _present_, but a _gift _really comes from the heart, or something like that. So… let's start with Minion."

Megamind grimaced almost painfully as they reached a sort of clearing by the benches and looked around at a loss for where to try first.

Megamind stroked his goatee thoughtfully. "Well… I mean… most of Minion's hobbies involve doing things for me in the end, it seems. Of course, he likes to read to… and play video games… and garden… he likes cooking and sewing… It was his idea to make me a super suit in the first place. And he likes building and repairing things… Does that help?"

"Do you know what to get him?"

"…No…"

"Then we keep thinking. You have to find something that tells that person how you feel about them, whether it's friends or family."

Megamind thought for a moment. "What about another cookbook? He loves cooking, and he's the best cook in Metrosity." He leaned slightly closer, his eyes wide. "Possibly the universe."

Annie was unnerved by the goofy expression, wondering if he was making fun of her, but decided he was being completely honest. "Yeah well… getting him a book so he can cook for you… might come off as a little selfish."

Megamind groaned dramatically. "We do pretty much _everything _together though! Or for each other."

Annie bit her lip. "Alright then… how about Roxanne?"

Megamind's entire demeanor softened, and a dreamy smile floated onto his face. "She's… wonderful."

Annie giggled behind her hand at his love-struck expression. "Any idea what you want to get for her?"

The alien hesitated for a moment, before saying with that same utterly sincere air: "The world…" His hand drifted out in front of him, palm up and long, spindly fingers clawed over as though he was holding the world in his hand.

Annie let out a nervous giggle and reached up to pat his hand. "Yeah well… that might be a little… much. Not to mention… it'd probably be considered a world-wide act of villainy and mark you as a threat to humanity. Which wouldn't do your hero image any good."

Megamind nodded, though his hand still flexed around the metaphorical globe in his hand.

Annie's lips pulled into a thin line as the point of her tongue stuck out. Megamind watched this with fascination for a moment before his shoulders slumped and he flopped onto the nearby bench. "Oh what's the point? The only reason I'm even trying is because of Roxanne, otherwise I wouldn't bother with this ridiculous tradition." His expression became slightly bitter as he leaned forward and propped his elbows up on his knees, steepling his fingers beneath his chin. "She has other friends who actually know what she would want as a gift. Certainly if I just tell he-"

It wasn't pain that made him jump, because the punch to his arm didn't hurt. It was shock. He turned to the girl, eyes wide and untrusting as she glared good-naturedly at him from where she now sat on the other half of the bench. "Hey, this isn't about material possessions in gaudy paper and bows. I mean, yeah, that's what a lot of people have turned the holiday into. A long time ago, it was about a little baby in a hay trough, but that's a story for another time. What it's supposed to be about is showing those you love how much they mean to you. So, maybe you don't know what to buy them. Maybe you don't buy them anything. Maybe make them something. Something that shows you're trying, and that that person means a lot to you."

Megamind frowned thoughtfully and turned his head forward again, his eyes on the faded marble floors.

The alien suddenly leapt to his feet, startling Annie as he jabbed a euphoric finger into the air. "I've got it!" He spun to face Annie and pulled the stunned woman up into a tight embrace, spinning her around twice as he jabbered rapid thank-yous into her ear before setting the clerk down and sprinting (or, quickly weaving through) the crowd to the exit.


	8. Christmas Day

**Ugh. Finally.**

**I may one day come back to this, make it better. Perhaps I'll update it next Christmas, and re-post it along with whatever other project I have at the time.**

**Warning: This chapter contains a lot of cheesy/sappy/goofy moments, toxic amounts of fluff, a little bit of darkness from the past, along with a preview towards the end to another Megamind Fic I'm writing. Not the multi-chapter one, just a one shot. I won't tell you what it is, but it is pre-movie, and cookies to you if you get it. It is also very long.**

**Oi. Get your antacid ready.**

* * *

"It's Chriiiiiiiistmaaaaaaaaaaaas!"

Megamind had no time to duck, or prepare himself in any way as the curvaceous form of his girlfriend plowed into him, sending both bodies crashing to the ground as they wrestled over the extra-large Santa hat Roxanne was trying to pull over his head.

"AAAAUUUGH! MINION! CODE: I'M BEING ATTACKED!"

Roxanne grinned evilly as she pinned her alien beneath her and yanked the hat down as far as she could before leaning down to kiss the end of his nose. "Megamind! Guess what?"

The alien cowered under her, flabbergasted by the uncharacteristic excitement. "What?"

She grinned and leaned down to pull him into a neck-crushing hug. "It's Christmas!"

Megamind chuckled weakly. "Yes. Yes it is Roxanne. Happy Kroosmas my dear."

Roxanne straightened, though she continued to straddle the wriggling blue body as she craned her neck to see what was on the table he'd been working at. "What're you making now, babe? You're not supposed to be working!"

Megamind's eyes grew even wider as his struggles increased. "They aren't for the city! Don't look!"

Roxanne's smirk became mischievous as she pressed one hand against his chest and leaned towards the table, the tips of her fingers just barely brushing the thick blue paper. Megamind let out a strangled cry, and before she understood how it'd happened, she was flipped onto her back, Megamind holding both her wrists in one of his hands, stretching them out above her head as he used his free one to whistle. "BRAINBOTS!"

Roxanne tried to throw the alien off, still grinning evilly as they struggled for control over the other. "Awwww, c'mon Megs. Let me see!"

One BrainBot finally tottered into the room, his dome buzzing lethargically, as though it had just powered on. Megamind let out a fantastic 'OOF' as Roxanne flipped them over and lunged for the blueprints. "Quick! Get the papers and hide them! HIDE THEM!" He yelled as he threw both arms around her waist and pulled her ample backside down into his lap. The BrainBot, startled awake by the flurry of activity, darted forward and quickly rolled up the stiff blue sheets before zipping away with them just as Roxanne wriggled around in Megamind's grip and forced him onto his back once more. She stared after the Bot with an exaggerated pout.

"Awww… Why won't you let me see?"

Megamind wriggled uncomfortably beneath her, trying to pull his wrists free from where they were pinned on either side of his impressive cranium. "Because, Miss Nosy reporter. It's none of your _bizz-_whags. Now let me up, woman!" He declared.

Roxanne chuckled, and decided on doing just the opposite. She leaned down and pressed her lips against his. "Merry Christmas, Megamind."

Megamind chuckled again, happily falling limp beneath her now that the blueprints were safe. "Merry Kreesmas, Roxanne."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, the back of the news van was loaded with Minion and about a dozen steaming dishes of Christmas delicacies. Though there would only be the four of them, Roxanne and Minion both knew exactly how massive both alien's appetites could be. Next to the food were boxes full of presents from Roxanne and Minion, while Megamind held his, much smaller and well-hidden, box in his lap to protect it from their curious eyes.

The ride out of the city was a short one, filled with the sounds of Roxanne's favorite Christmas songs and her slightly off-key singing along. On the other side of the bridge, they spotted Joel's car, and when they turned onto the overgrown, unused dirt road that lead up the hill, it fell into place behind them. It took another ten minutes or so to make it to the end of the little spit of land, and to the faded red Lil' Gifted School for Lil' Gifted Kids building.

Joel whistled as he clambered out of his car, eyes on the building. "So this is where you went to school, huh?"

"Mmhm." Megamind hefted his and Roxanne's boxes into his arms, leading the way up the path to the door. "My old shoolhouse…"

Joel and Roxanne exchanged a quick look behind the alien's back as they ushered him inside, Minion lumbering in behind them.

Music Man greeted them at the door, his booming voice easily cutting over the others as the chaos of getting in the room and finding places for the gifts around the twenty-foot tree bedecked in blinding gold lights and baubles.

A matching tree stretched across Music Man's chest on the white cashmere sweatshirt, and on his head was a hat of the same material. He carried in a tray of steaming hot cocoa, forcing the mugs into his guests' hands before his own grabbed his guitar, starting on some horrible, off-key rendition of Jingle Bell Rock.

To everyone but Megamind.

The other three cringed, grimacing at the aliens as their voices mixed together in the dramatized duo.

Roxanne handed out stockings, having self-appointed herself as Santa. Music Man had his own stocking, knitted for him by one of his many nannies in the past. It was gold and white with stars around the brim, stuffed with some of his favorite hair gel and a copy of the new Jackass movie on top of his candy. Roxanne had to make stockings for Joel, Megamind and Minion, and she was pretty proud of how they'd turned out. Joel's had a very beautiful menorah with golden candles, filled with a new pair of hand-knit gloves, two tin cans of his favorite coffee dippers, and of course, candy. Minion's was stitched with a cheesy interpretation of Anthony Shiels' Nessie puppet, wearing a Santa beard and hat. She'd searched high and low for the last five days, and found a bunch of cans of 'gourmet fish food' for omnivorous fish. Megamind's stocking was blue, with a gold-and-silver lightning bolt slashed across the fabric. She'd knitted him a new hat, rolled up with the newest copy of 'Heroes Weekly' and a note saying he'd received a year's subscription to the magazine.

Her first surprise of the day came when all four men pulled out an extra-large stocking from behind Music Man's couch and set it before her, grinning like idiots.

She stared at it with huge eyes as Joel pulled her into a tight one-armed hug. "You guys didn't have to do this!"

"But you got us all stockings, Miss Ritchie. And you certainly deserve one from us."

They'd gotten her everything from bath salts to her favorite specialty hot chocolate, from a new scarf to a ticket to a day spa downtown. Her eyes grew watery and her voice caught as she stood and gave them each giant hugs and a quick peck on the cheek.

Then it was time for Christmas Dinner (Christmas Brunch, really, so they would finish in time for Joel to go home to his family), and the group crowded around the dining table Music Man had rented under a false name.

It was loud, warm, cheerful. For two out of five, this kind of thing was normal: a crowded table during a holiday, surrounded by loud loved ones and mountains of delicious food.

For three out of five, this was very strange. All in different ways.

Minion was more at ease with this, as though he'd been attending holidays all his life. He'd never resented the fact that he and Megamind were shunned by the more savory of the community members, only ever embraced by hardened criminals. But he'd never been completely okay with the fact. His master had missed out on so many things, and, by association, so had he. He didn't mind at all: he was too busy protecting his master, nursing the alien back to health after a particularly taxing battle, making sure Megamind didn't blow the lair up. Again. Here, surrounded by the people he'd come to call friends, it all felt… right.

Music Man and Megamind were feeling, in their own ways, much the same. Only their feelings were much deeper.

Music Man had a cold, structured childhood. The dining table was long, and the dining room was silent. Holidays at the Scott household saw festive decoration, but there was no singing around the tree. There were mountains of presents, but no hugs on Christmas morning. If they went to parties, he was dressed in a scratchy suit, made to stand with his shoulders back and hands folded behind his back. He was occasionally fawned over by others, shown off by his parents, but then business would pop up in conversation and he was shuffled off to the side to wander through the crowd. No other children, no friends, no family, no one to talk to. There was no cheer in the holiday. Now, even living underground, on his own, there was love that came with the gifts. They were stuffed into the single-man eating area, but he was quite comfortable. It was, in fact, cozy. Something he'd never before experienced.

Megamind had… no real childhood. His late teen and adult Christmases were spent setting his BrainBots on the tree in front of town hall, or going on crime sprees with Minion. Crashing Christmas plays, harassing carolers, things of that nature. But when he was younger… He could recall one Christmas, before he'd really started enacting actually villainous plans, he'd gone out to find food for him and Minion one Christmas eve. He'd been walking past a row of townhouses when voices drifted from a partially opened window. He'd peeked in to see a little boy about his age, seated on his knees in his chair, leaning against the table as the rest of his family moved around it. He'd felt a surge of , unreasonable hate for the lad. Why did this little worm deserve the warmth, the feast, the cheer? The love? Roxanne's hand found his under the table, and he squeezed it happily, sending her a sideways smile. He'd never imagined he would _ever _be in this situation… Or in any of the situations he'd been introduced to through Roxanne. He finally had… a family.

Dinner finished, and they crowded around the tree, leaning back in their seats and patting bloated stomachs. Content to sit and talk as they digested. Twelve-thirty rolled around, and they decided it was time for presents. They flopped into their backsides around the tree, Roxanne wriggling up against Megamind's side as Music Man knelt by the present pile so he could hand the packages out. He quickly sorted through them all, and tossed the brightly wrapped parcels to their new owners.

The next fifteen minutes or so was a flurry of paper, bows, and sometimes packaging. Minion eagerly pulled the packaging off the new plastic house for his tank and set about replacing it with the old one that had been there for years. He'd also gotten a new apron and matching mitts, and a deluxe membership to the aquarium on the coast that he'd always wanted to go to. He then came to the large plastic tube, and shook it. He unscrewed the cap and pulled out three rolls of stiff blue paper.

"Blueprints?" He murmured. He opened the first one, stretching it out in front of him and studied the plans. Confused, he bobbed higher in his tank to see over the paper. "A tank, sir?"

Megamind nodded. "I know you don't much like swimming at the beach or the lake, because of the pollution. And there are all those huge storage bunkers below the lair." The alien smiled up at his friend. "I thought I'd turn one, perhaps more, into your own lake. With special pumps to adjust the water to your tastes, and other fish for you to socialize with. If you'd like, of course."

Minion could only stare in shock at his master, his jaw dropped towards the bottom of his tank. "Th… Thank you… sir. Yes, I'd… like that, very much."

Megamind grinned at his fishy companion. "I'll be starting sometime next week, and it'll probably be finished in another."

Minion smiled back warmly at his friend. "Thank you sir. This is… this is wonderful."

Joel opened his presents next, and when he came to Megamind's, he opened the small parcel and pulled out a bracelet and a disk. Both were blue with a round, black plastic device with the silver Megamind logo in the center. Joel pulled on the bracelet, grinning goofily as he held up the disk. He figured it was one of the blue man's inventions. What it did, however, he was unsure. "Alright green-eyes. What's it do?"

Megamind's smile became a little smug. "A bit of genius, really. I've been developing a larger one for years, but it's never worked out quite right. This, smaller one though, works just as planned. You see, Roxanne told me some time ago that you'd been having shoulder problems, because of the weight of the camera. The disk is attached to the side of your camera- it's not magnetic, so it won't harm your camera- and begins a cycle of signals to and from the wristband once you put it on. In a nutshell, once the device was warmed up, it renders the camera practically weightless, without any harm to the machine, or you."

Joel held out the bracelet in a showy way. "Not a bad fashion statement, either. Thanks handsome."

Then it was Metro Man's turn. He opened up two new guitars, and spent a minute or two strumming and tuning them with a delighted grin on his face. He also opened a luxurious, fluffy new robe and matching slippers before lifting Megamind's gift.

He stared down at the old, but still well-cared for ukulele with a hint of confusion, which only intensified when he noticed the nervous grimace on his ex-nemesis's face. "Well… when I was at the mall… I spoke to a young woman who told me gifts are supposed to mean something between…" He took a deep breath. "Between you and the person who receives the gift. And then I remembered the ukulele you used to play when we were in school…"

"It disappeared…" Music Man murmured. "I loved that thing."

Only Roxanne, leaning against the alien, and Music Man, with his enhanced vision, noticed the tiny cringe that came from the blue body. "Well… I stole it because I was jealous of how the others liked you, and liked it when you played the ukulele, but when I tried…" He trailed off and shook his head. "I don't know why I kept it all this time, but I thought… Since it's from a shared part of our pasts… it'd be a… a peace offering. Of sorts. You know. Bygones and all that. Friendship…" Megamind cringed again. "Sort of asking for forgiveness for all of my faults between u-OOOF-"

Megamind jerked forward beneath Music Man's meaty palm, dragging a laughing Roxanne with him as Music Man clapped him on the back. "Maybe we aren't so different, little buddy. Open mine."

Megamind dramatically twisted his back, popping his spine as he straightened and pulled his gift from Music Man into his lap. He ripped the paper away, tossing it behind him as he stared down at the aluminum pan.

The two aliens stared at each other over the popcorn, Music Man's expression nervous and Megamind's awed. The room was completely silent for the first time that morning, until Megamind's face split into a huge grin. "Thanks… Wayne."

Music Man let out a relieved sigh and pat Megamind on the back again, knocking the smaller alien forward once more. "Merry Christmas, little buddy."

He opened his other presents, practically giggling like an excited school girl as he pulled a set of pictures from an envelope to see a full set of shiny, new, personalized tools. His logo was engraved into the metal sides of the hand tools, and painstakingly painted on the sides of the powered ones. All these were carefully arranged in a new tool case, standing nearly as tall as minion and painted black and blue like his suit. The set was extensive, filled with every attachment, every size… It was "Incredible!" He declared, hugging Roxanne and Minion as tightly as he could. Already, his fingers were itching to wrap around his shiny new toys and invent the hell out of… _things. _His present from Joel was a pair of personally made sunglasses, special ordered from one of Joel's friends who worked for one of his favorite designers. Megamind slid them onto his face, amazed by the way they fit perfectly onto his abnormally shaped features. Roxanne dove into her purse for her compact and held it up to show him his reflection. He thanked Joel and, with the utmost, almost overly exaggerated care, began to wrap them back up in the dust cloth before replacing them in the case.

Finally, Roxanne began to open her pile. Joel had bought her a bottle of the amazing designer perfume, guaranteed to 'make your man wild with a single spritz'. As though to prove the bottle's point, Roxanne couldn't help but notice a certain alien straining as he leaned even closer, as though trying to appear like he wasn't when she tested the scent out on her wrist. She giggled as she turned her head just enough to plant a kiss on his shoulder before opening the rest of her presents. Minion had built her an almost-replica of the holowatch, made to look smaller and more feminine. It could be, if she agreed to it, outfitted with a tracking device in case she was ever kidnapped by another villain. There was also a setting that would send a small electrical charge through an attacker's body, temporarily stunning them. Another prominent feature was its ability to communicate directly with Minion and Megamind with a simple voice command. There were others, and he promised to give her a full lesson. Music Man had ordered her a new designer winter jacket that fell to mid-thigh and hugged her features.

With those opened, she wriggled happily as she opened the long, almost flat package marked from Megamind.

Inside was a single red rose and a note. She quirked a brow sideways at her boyfriend, but he was smiling up at the ceiling.

_I couldn't think of a material way to tell you how I felt. Your gift has to wait for sunset. But for now, enjoy this rose and the rest of the two dozen that are waiting for you at your apartment._

_LOL-MM._

Roxanne smirked up at her boyfriend, only to find him still smiling determinedly at the ceiling. She noticed how taut his jaw was, and how forced the smile seemed now.

And she wondered what surprises she'd find later tonight.

* * *

Around one-thirty, they cleaned up, said goodbye to Music Man and Joel, the latter of whom followed them away from the school house, and into city where the two vehicles finally parted ways. Roxanne drove them back to the lair, exchanging a quick kiss with Megamind as Minion clambered out of the back.

"I'll be at your apartment at around five."

Roxanne smirked a little deviously and pulled him forward by the collar of his shirt for another quick kiss. "You still aren't gonna tell me what it is?"

Megamind shook his head to clear his thoughts as a lazy grin found its way onto his face. "If I did that, it wouldn't be a surprise. See you tonight, Roxanne."

He escaped before she could try and weasel it out of him, and with a slight pout of defeat, she backed out of the lot and drove herself home.

For the next few hours, she sat curled on her couch, sipping a mug of her new cocoa and frowning thoughtfully at her rose-laden coffee table, trying to profile the alien man. Of course… her efforts brought up little to help her figure out what he had planned tonight. Dinner? No… most places were closed. He couldn't cook, and she had a feeling that on this occasion, he wouldn't ask Minion to make a big, elaborate dinner for them…

She let out a frustrated growl and threw her hands into the air before she hauled herself off the couch and headed for a quick shower and a change of clothes.

Whatever he was planning, her date would be here soon.

* * *

She heard the HoverBike as she was putting in a pair of earrings. She grabbed her jacket and jogged out to the living room, throwing her arms around Megamind's neck as he grinned at her. "Ready?"

"Yep." She pulled the heavy jacket on and wrapped her new scar around her neck, tucking it inside her coat so it wouldn't get blown away.

Megamind helped her up onto the bike and clambered on behind her.

The monstrosity of a vehicle roared to life and fell away from the railing, sending them flying towards the city limits.

* * *

They flew for what felt like an hour, though that may just have been the anticipation Roxanne felt. The city fell away behind them as the bike shot across the water, parallel to the bridge.

"I never thought," Megamind called over the sound of the bike and the wind rushing past them. "That Metro Man and I would find the same side of the river to hide on."

The bike began to descend, dropping from the sky gradually until it came to a stop about a foot above a stretch of old, frozen, yellowed grass. There were heaps of trash all around, and the few trees were gnarled and dead-looking.

She cocked a brow at Megamind as they slid from the bike, and he held up his hands in defense. "Now… I know, this isn't what you expected. But… This isn't… _it _alright? Just…" He held out a hand nervously. "-follow me."

Roxanne hesitated only for a moment, before she reached out and took his hand. She didn't know what to expect. She was… almost afraid to think of what might happen.

They walked for a few hundred feet, picking their way through mounds of trash, around oily rocks and over half-exposed roots. Most of the snow they saw was sludge, melted and turned brown by the pollution from the bridge and nearby highway. Roxanne was beginning to wonder if she should demand to know exactly where they were going, when an ancient, dilapidated building rose from the barren landscape. If it wasn't for the upheaval of land next to the little building, it would have fallen over long ago.

She looked to Megamind again, but he just pulled her forward.

He finally released her hand and jogged towards the face of the building, grunting as he pulled back a piece of thin, flimsy corrugated siding. She had a brief image of Aladdin leading Jasmine up to his home, and felt a faint flutter in her chest as she squeezed through the small opening.

The inside was dark, lit up only by the glowing dome of a single BrainBot. Roxanne let out a startled yelp, jumping back as Megamind entered, only to step on his foot and cause him to fall back out through the opening. The BrainBot darted away, smacking into the siding and giving off a series of mechanical barks until Megamind bounced forward and pulled the panicked machine against his chest, stroking it like one would a cat. "Shh, shh now! You just frightened Miss Ritchie! There's no danger, calm down-" He eventually talked the little bot down, and with a sarcastic eyeroll, released it. The BrainBot let out a dejected sort of sound (in Roxanne's mind, at least) before bobbing up into the rotting rafters.

That was when Roxanne looked around.

With the light as high as it was, it cast an eerie sort of glow throughout the whole building.

It lit up half-finished and broken pieces of equipment. Small machines that looked like early versions of the BrainBots, and a few contraptions that looked like failed bodies for Minion. Newspaper clippings, blueprints, and pictures that looked like they'd been colored by a small child wallpapered the sides of the building and rotten support beams. A specific one caught her eyes, just to the left of where she stood, and as Megamind moved to follow the path of the BrainBot above him, righting the things the machine had knocked over in its panic, she bent slightly and came face-to-face with a newspaper clipping she recognized very well.

The young Metro Man, his hair still dark, his face unlined… Except for the angry red crayon marks that covered the picture. It wasn't just his face scratched out though.

There hung the young Megamind, his feet dangling almost a foot off the ground as he clawed at Metro Man's hand. His face blotted out by the same angry scribbles. Even after all these years, she could recall that day perfectly. Her first kidnapping.

She briefly touched the picture, sadness creeping into the corner of her heart. There'd been a lot of rage there… A lot of… hate…

She turned away before Megamind could see her, wrapping her arms around herself and watching with a twinge of amusement as he argued with the bot, trying to pry an old invention from its mandibles.

He finally pulled it free and tossed it onto the table, shooing the bot away. It let out a grumbling sort of bot and bobbed towards the corner this time, to hover down onto the cot behind the small table she'd just now noticed.

Megamind turned to her, his smile shy and vulnerable. "This… I… I found it when I was young and… not even Minion knows about it." Roxanne's eyes widened with shock, and he took it as a cue to continue. "Well… you see, I was rather upset one day. Back before he'd become Metro Man. I… I was having a… horrible day. Sometimes, I'd leave Minion at… wherever we were staying, and just walk on my own for a while. Steal money, food, pick up scrap metal. Make other people miserable. But this day… I just started walking, and I didn't stop. Until I got tired, and sat on a rock and looked around." He was babbling now, talking almost too quickly for her to understand. "And then I saw this place and… and I just kept coming back. When things got to be… too much." He dropped his head, his fingers interlaced behind him and he waited for her to respond.

He didn't look up until he felt her hand on his chin, coaxing it up so she could look him in the eye. To his astonishment, she was wearing a soft smile.

He opened his mouth again, unable to stop himself. "I know, it's a dump. There's trash and pollution and… and a few pests, but…" He trailed off, wondering if she would understand.

She did.

Her lips met his with a crash as she pulled herself as close to him as possible. Without hesitation this time, his arms came up around her, wrapping themselves securely around her back until he all but crushed her against his chest.

When they finally broke apart, their foreheads fell together as their panting mouths pulled back into cheeky grins.

"So… this is… a good gift?" He asked, cautious hope coloring his voice.

Roxanne nodded. "I can't believe you shared something this secret with me. Not even Minion…?"

Megamind shook his head. "He knows… of it. He's tried to make me tell him where it is that I disappear to, because he worries about my safety. Gangs, traffic, falling… my general clumsiness. He insists that he wouldn't come with me, but…"

"But this place is just for you." Roxanne murmured, her entire face soft as she gazed up at him from under her lashes.

"And you, now." He clarified. "I know it's tra-"

"Shh!" She pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "Stop it with that. I can believe you shared this with me! This is… wow Blue. You… are a many-faceted man, Megamind. And I know there are still a lot of things I don't, and may never, know about you. But… sharing this… important piece of yourself with me… Thank you."

Megamind dropped his hands to wrap around hers, and backed towards the rear of the building, pulling her with him. He led her towards the cot and the table, pulling out the solitary chair for her before diving beneath the improvised bed.

Something drew her eyes skyward, and she realized with a jolt that part of the roof was gone, maybe caved in. A sheet of scratched, weather-worn fiberglass was haphazardly placed over the hole. It was just clear enough to see the stars.

She lowered her gaze when the sound of his head met the bottom of the cot. She tried not to laugh at his garbled curses as he pulled his head out from under the cot and flopped onto the side of it. "I… It's cheesy… I… brought cider and cookies." He lay the aforementioned things out on the rickety table along with two Dixie cups and a few napkins.

Roxanne chuckled at the extreme dorkiness of the alien sitting across from her. "Don't be so nervous, Blue. This is really sweet. Romantic. In your… own way." She took the Dixie cup he held out to her, and raised it back towards him. "Merry Kroosmas, Megamind."

The grin he returned was positively ridiculous as he tapped his cup against hers. "Merry Kroosmas, Roxanne."


End file.
